String Subtraction: Where Languages Draw The Line

Content Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxX: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxX: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxX: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those

Content Computer Facts computerfact Following concerned parent: if all your friends jumped off a bridge would you follow them? machine learning algorithm: yes. 12:20 PM - 15 Mar 2018 7,194 Retweets 14,643 Likes 78 17 7.2K 15K

Left side: The poor soul who actually tries to use VS Code's built-in debugger, setting breakpoints, watching variables, and stepping through code like some kind of responsible developer. Right side: The enlightened being who just dumps random gibberish to the console and somehow triangulates the bug's location through pure chaos. No time for proper debugging when you can just print("kljrijeghrophrt"); and ctrl+F your way to salvation. After 15 years in this industry, I've learned that proper debugging tools are for people with deadlines that aren't "yesterday." The rest of us are just out here keyboard-smashing our way through production issues while the senior architect is in another meeting about agile transformation.

Oh the beautiful abomination of mixing Python with C++ syntax! This code is the programming equivalent of putting pineapple on pizza AND dipping it in chocolate sauce. The madlad imported iostream in Python and then used C++'s cout << syntax inside a Python function. The most cursed part? It actually works! The terminal shows the output "Hello" because Python's flexible import system let this crime against nature run successfully. This is what happens when you know too many languages and decide to play god with syntax. Your code reviewer is probably having a seizure right now.

Content When you have to edit a config file written in XML ip.com

Nothing quite like wasting an entire day debugging your perfectly fine code only to discover the test script itself is broken. The irony of the Windows XP "Task Failed Successfully" message is just the chef's kiss on this nightmare sandwich. Somewhere, a QA engineer is laughing while you contemplate your life choices and the structural integrity of your desk as a pillow.