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DARLING, those movie hacking scenes are the GREATEST TRAGEDY of my developer existence! 💅 The dramatic typing! The neon green text! The ABSURD progress bars! Meanwhile, in reality, the "hacker" is probably just running a system update and installing some random npm packages while crying into their lukewarm coffee. For the uninitiated, htop is just a colorful system monitoring tool that LOOKS impressive but is basically just telling you your computer isn't completely dead yet. Hollywood thinks we're all cyber wizards when we're really just glorified package installers begging our terminals not to break something important!

Content 4 - Oniketojen 851 points 11 hours ago Guy before me wrote a script to save a solid 45 minutes of time and my old boss hated it and refuses to let us use it. Unfortunately everything was time stamped so if it was 15 tasks checked off done in 1 or 2 seconds youd know. I dont know why my company is so against automation in some portions of the job. Derma ink source embed save save-RES darent report give award repy hide child comments 4 - SaintDiam 1116 points 11 hours ago Rewrite the script and put in random time delays between tasks. permalink source embed save save-RES parent report give award reply hide child comments -1 machstem 499 points 11 hours ago wait 360 permalink source embed save save-RES parent report give award reply hide child comments 4 - Crump3txxix 390 points 11 hours ago Add a random in there so the times arent exactly on the same interval permalink source embed save save-RES parent report give award reply hide child comments - SaintDiam 579 points 10 hours ago Fetch the current coordinates of ursa minor in the night sky, then subtract how late the trains in London are running. Use that for the random number seed. Then, link the script to the coffee machine, and have it make you a cup of coffee at random. Figure out how long it takes you to walk to the coffee machine and back, and add that to the time randomly. Script will notify you when coffee is ready. This will hide your lack of involvement by keeping your consistently not doing things while not at your desk. While you're hooked into the coffee machine, fetch the number of cups of coffee produced in the last 24 hours. Add that times 10 to 100, depending on employees that get coffee, in milliseconds to each task's time to submit nermalink cource embed cave cave-PES narent renor give award replied bide child comments progr

Content Damn I only know a little It's hard for me to learn languages to be honest I don't believe you Smart people knows at least 2 languages And you are very smart A nerd at least I don't look smart The languages I know are computer coding lol Can I whisper c in your ear Replied to you Can I whisper c in your ear Ew O Message e

The forbidden refactoring journey we've all embarked on! One minute you're celebrating functional code (which probably contains 17 hacks and workarounds you've forgotten about), and the next minute you're diving into "clean code" territory. Suddenly your compiler unleashes 258 bugs that were peacefully hibernating in your spaghetti logic. The final panel perfectly captures that moment of existential dread when you realize you'll be spending your weekend undoing all your "improvements." Pro tip: Version control exists for a reason, folks!

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Content Tweet sneards sneards My friends: Age is just a number o Me: No it's an integer 20:58 18 May 21 Twitter for Android