The Highest Paid Engineer's Dress Code

Content Interviewer: why should I hire you? Me: I've CS background My CS background:

Content while (not edge) ( runli do runt): ) while (not edge).

Ah yes, the eternal truth of software engineering. While normal people debate philosophy, programmers look at the same glass and immediately think "why are we using a 500ml container when we only need 250ml? This is wasting memory." You've allocated a buffer that's double the size you actually need, and now you're paying for it in both RAM and existential dread. Could've used a smaller glass, could've used a dynamic array that grows as needed, but no—someone on Stack Overflow said "just make it bigger to be safe" and here we are. The real kicker? That glass will never get resized. It'll sit there in production for 5 years, half-full, mocking every performance review where you promise to "optimize resource usage."

Content Hey, do atheists go to hell? No. (5 6 a. krishna.memes How about those who believe chat-gpt can replace programmers Straight to hell. To the boiler room of hell All the way down.

DARLING, I'm not just a developer, I'm a PROFESSIONAL PROCRASTINATOR with a LICENSE TO DISAPPOINT! 💅 Zero commits? Zero closed PRs? But SEVEN open user stories after the sprint?! The name's Bond. Unproductive Bond. My superpower is making it look like I'm working while accomplishing absolutely NOTHING. My sprint velocity is so negative it's breaking the laws of physics! Management still thinks I'm some kind of coding superhero when in reality I'm just playing Minesweeper in a terminal window. THE AUDACITY! THE DRAMA! THE COMPLETE LACK OF PRODUCTIVITY!

Content When you spend days on a function... Then have to delete it because you found a more efficient and readable solution that took 2 minutes to implement.