The Highest Paid Engineer's Dress Code

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of these system shutdowns! Your laptop and that poor confused emoji are BEGGING to stay alive, but that dictatorial Overwolf app is like "NOPE, not today sweetie!" 💅 Meanwhile, your precious unsaved code is hanging by a thread! That one rebellious gaming overlay that decides YOUR WORK isn't as important as ITS update. The digital equivalent of someone unplugging your life support to charge their phone! And the worst part? NO ONE ASKED THE TERMINAL! That poor, neglected command line never gets a say in anything! TRAGIC!

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Content Randall Koutnik Follow rkoutnik Why programmers like cooking: You peel the carrot, you chop the carrot, you put the carrot in the stew. You don't suddenly find out that your peeler is several versions behind and they dropped support for carrots in 4.3 9:22 PM - 16 Jan 2019 1,845 Retweets 5,689 Likes 68 17 18K 5.7K

This is peak programmer problem-solving right here! The dev proudly announces their "really fast Rubik's cube solver" but the actual implementation is just a function that calls Reset() . It's the coding equivalent of solving a jigsaw puzzle by dumping all the pieces back in the box. Sure, technically the cube is no longer unsolved... because you've just reset it to its original state! This is the same energy as fixing bugs by turning the computer off and on again. Work smarter not harder, I guess?

Someone asks you to name every computer ever. Instead of actually naming them, just iterate through an array and reassign every computer's name to "ever". Problem solved. Technically correct, which is the best kind of correct. This is what happens when you let developers interpret requirements literally. The challenge was to "name every computer ever" but they heard "rename every computer TO ever". It's like when your PM asks for better error handling and you just wrap everything in try-catch and call it a day. Peak malicious compliance energy right here.

THE ABSOLUTE STATE OF MODERN PROGRAMMING! 😭 Look at us, the so-called "tech geniuses" of our generation, reduced to begging AI overlords to fix our punctuation! I'm literally sitting here at 2AM, staring into the void, wondering if my entire career has come down to asking ChatGPT "pretty please add the semicolon I was too lazy to type." The semicolon - that tiny punctuation mark standing between me and functional code - and I've outsourced even THAT responsibility! Next thing you know, I'll be asking it to breathe for me because manual respiration seems like such a chore! The future is here, and it's pathetically hilarious!