Tech fashion Memes

A software engineer without the holy trinity of dev peacocking? Impossible. We've all become walking billboards for our employers, mechanical keyboard enthusiasts, and laptop sticker collectors. It's practically our uniform at this point. The true horror isn't the missing swag—it's using the default IDE. No custom theme, no obscure plugins, no 47 keyboard shortcuts that make your coworkers think you're hacking the Pentagon. That's not a developer, that's an alien studying human behavior.

The secret tech career hierarchy nobody tells you about in coding bootcamp: it's all about the beanie height-to-salary ratio. Want that six-figure software engineering job? Better start folding that beanie up! Meanwhile, the rest of us unemployed devs with our slouchy beanies are just one npm install away from dealing drugs in the parking lot. The real full-stack development is stacking your beanie just right during the Zoom interview.

The brutal reality check we all need sometimes. Just like how your IDE theme won't fix your spaghetti code, wearing programmer merch won't magically grant you debugging powers. The dog is the only honest one here—delivering hard truths while the rest of us are busy configuring Neovim instead of fixing that memory leak. Turns out all those programmer socks on Amazon weren't the career hack we thought they were. Who knew?