The Death Of Productivity: Meeting Edition

Content IS SHOWING A LOT OF WARNINGS! WHAT CAN I DO? 0 A43 ProdrammerHumor.io

Content C CBot Bot start 11.23 J Is this message Drake or Expanding Brain or Distracted Boyfriend or Hand and Button or Handshake or Spongebob Weak Spongebob Strong ? 11:23 Expanding Brain 11:23 vI Ok. This message has 4 different text fields: Small Brain Medium Brain Big Brain Biggest Brain 11:23 We will start with Small Brain. Please enter the text for this field now. 11:23 Making a Meme using mematic 11:23 V Ok. Now: Medium Brain. Please enter the text for this field now. 11:23 Making a Meme using paint 11:23 J Ok. Now: Big Brain. Please enter the text for this field now. 11:23 Making a Meme with a discord bot 11:24 J Ok. Now: Biggest Brain. Please enter the text for this field now. 11:24 Making a Meme with a telegram bot 11:24 J Ok. Your message is done. You entered the following parameters: Meme: Expanding Brain Textfield : 4 Small Brain: Making a Meme using mematic Medium Brain : Making a Meme using paint Big Brain: Making a Meme with a discord bot Biggest Brain : Making a Meme with a telegram bot 11:24 Making a Meme using mematic Making a Meme using paint Making a Meme with a discord bot Making a Meme with a telegram bot 1:24 Meme by CtrILinkBot. start to make the next meme. Nachricht 11:24 3 O

OH MY GOD, look at what they've done to my beautiful monolithic dinner! 😱 They've taken what was once a glorious heap of mixed vegetables and LITERALLY DISMEMBERED IT into hundreds of tiny, isolated cubes! Sure, each little vegetable piece is now "independently scalable" and can "fail without bringing down the entire meal," but at what cost?! Now I need seventeen different microservices just to assemble one bite of what used to be a simple spoonful! The deployment complexity has increased by 800%, and the fork latency is THROUGH THE ROOF! This is what happens when the architecture team reads one Medium article and decides to revolutionize everything!

Content i have no fucking idea what language i code in

Finally, a MapReduce explanation that makes sense to my stomach. Raw ingredients get mapped to their processed forms, then reduced into delicious sandwiches. If only Hadoop documentation came with lunch included. This is exactly how I explain distributed computing to new hires - "It's just like making sandwiches in parallel. You don't have one person doing everything from slicing tomatoes to final assembly." Ten years of big data experience and I still think about this diagram during architecture meetings. Sad but true.

Content can you stop making everything automated programmer: no