The Archaeological Expedition Into Legacy Code

Content DEATHS HAS JAVASCRIPT 0 0 107,849, 146,027 0 0 0 0 NO NO YES NO NO NO NO NO NO COINCIDENCE?

Content Girls talk in higher pitch to those they're attracted to Girls speak to me in low pitch because they don't like me Girls speak to me in low pitch because of an integer overflow

Behold! The MOST REALISTIC tech success story you'll ever see! 🙄 Just learn JavaScript, and BOOM—instant millionaire by 17! Swimming pools! Mansions! All from a $20 book and some if-else statements! Meanwhile, the rest of us are debugging the same error for 6 hours straight and celebrating when our CSS centers a div correctly. The audacity of these LinkedIn fairy tales is the true masterpiece of fiction—more creative than any code I've ever written! Next week: "How I became a trillionaire by copying Stack Overflow answers!"

The duality of agile development in its purest form. During sprint planning, you're a majestic lion roaring confidently: "We'll implement the entire authentication system, refactor the database, AND add three new features!" Two weeks later at the retrospective, you're that derpy lion meme mumbling "So... we managed to fix one button and it only breaks in Safari sometimes." The circle of sprint life continues, and nobody learns a thing.

Content Does he bite? No, but he can hurt you in other ways. Understanding the programming memes doesn't make you a dev

Content Java C Cat What the hell is this?