Reality

Content My family: when you move, make sure you move the most important things first. My new house:

Content lava JS C Lua MATAB Perl STAR WARs Arrays start at 0 Arrays start at 1 Arrays can start wherever ") Arrays start at 4, stop at 6, restart at 1, stop again at 3, restart at 7 then continue on

Content GENTLEMEN, IT IS WITH A MIX OF TERROR AND SATISFACTION THAT I DECLARE... I HAVE COMPLETELY FINISHED A SIDE PROJECT AFTER 26 YEARS OF WORKING WITH SOFTWARE PROGRAMMING imaflip.com

Content Remove your hand from the box and you die What's in the box? The code you wrote few years ago

The galaxy brain approach to coding: why bother with a handful of dynamic variables when you can create a magnificent constellation of magic numbers? Nothing says "I trust my future self" quite like hardcoding 50 constants instead of using meaningful variables that might actually explain what your code does. The real 200 IQ move is creating a codebase so rigid that when requirements change (and they always change), you get to play the exciting game of "find and replace across 47 files." Bonus points if you name them all var1 through var50 !

Content PSYCHOPATHS SERIAL KILLERS COMPANIES THAT MAKE YOU DO A "TECHNICAL CHALLENGE" BEFORE YOU EVEN HAVE AN INTERVIEW WITH A HUMAN BEING imoflip.com