Lies, I Was Promised Lies

Content Tweet Nat Aliscion tesseralis 13h man goes to doctor. says he's depressed. says work is overwhelming. everything is disorganized, swamped with bureaucracy. "use the app JIRA" says doctor. "It'll help your organization keep track of work." "but doc," says the man. "I work on JIRA." 17189 1,388 1 Show this thread See replies

The AUDACITY of that developer suggesting a complete rewrite! 💀 One second you're peacefully maintaining legacy code, and the next some MANIAC drives by screaming about "rewriting from scratch" like it's not the most terrifying phrase in existence! And then - THE PLOT TWIST - they can't even read the existing codebase! DARLING, how are you going to rewrite what you don't understand?! It's like saying "Let's rebuild this house" when you can't tell a load-bearing wall from a decorative vase! The absolute CHAOS of suggesting nuclear options while being completely clueless is peak developer confidence!

Content Intern: "Hey look at my code, it covers all corner cases!" Senior:

Ah, the classic scope battle! The local variable (Simba) is asking about what happens outside those curly braces, and the compiler (Mufasa) is basically saying "that's not your problem, kid." Python developers are cackling in the background because they don't deal with this nonsense - no curly braces, no strict variable scoping rules. While C++ and Java developers are having existential crises about variable lifetimes, Python coders are just like "Everything is accessible if you believe hard enough!" This is why Python devs have that smug look at meetups.

Content When you read some incredibly had code, thinking "What moron wrote this..", but halfway through it starts to become familiar. Well, of course I know him. Hels me.

Content YOU WRITE COMMENTS TO EXPLAIN COMPLEX CODE I WRITE COMMENTS TO JUSTIFY THE USE OF ANTI-PATTERNS WE ARE NOT THE SAME