Job Vsjob Description

Content GET THAT THING OUT OF MY FACE! developers try-catch block ProgrammerHumor.:

Content X virus malware a AntiVir AVG avast! trojan i sleep Compile program on IDE fo3 Build Compile current file Run Build and run 42 Rebuild Clean Ctri-F9 CtrI-Shift-F9 CtrI-F10 F9 Ctri-F11 AntiVir AVG avast! real shit

Content In case of fire o 1. git commit 2. git push 11 3. leave building ProarammerHumor.io

Content Project Manager: We're going to build a facial-recognition application. Programmer: OK Project Manager: People will put in a photo, and it will search a database for matching faces. Programmer: OK Project Manager: And while it's doing that, it should flash up, on screen, a slide show featuring hundreds of other random faces which definitely aren't a match Programmer: No that's stupid we're not doing that.

The eternal gap between theoretical architecture and actual production traffic! 😂 When someone asks if your system can handle a million concurrent users, but your current load is just TEN people, what do you do? Tell the truth and look incompetent or confidently lie and pray you'll never have to prove it? This is basically every startup pitch deck vs. actual server metrics. "Oh yeah, our architecture is totally cloud-native, horizontally scalable to infinity!" Meanwhile, the poor Node.js server is running on a t2.micro instance that crashes when three people use the search function simultaneously. The best part? When the miracle happens and you actually get that traffic spike, you'll be frantically Googling "how to optimize database queries at 3am" while telling management "it's just a minor scaling issue!"

Content This is where I come to cry. -Cool.