In An Alternate Universe

Content TWANTTO SIT OUTSIDEAND WORK BECAUSE IT'S SO NICE OUT BUTTHEN T'DONLY HAVE ONE MONITOR INSTEAD OF8

Content THE STRUGGLE FEATURE FOUND A BUG MONKEYUSER.cOM

Ah, the corporate euphemism for "we're replacing you with ChatGPT." Nothing says "your job security is in jeopardy" quite like a cheerful poster about "vibe coding" where you just need to "embrace AI to write 95%+ of your codebase." The best part is the subtle transition from "programmer" to "product engineer" – because apparently typing prompts is engineering now. And that "10-100x productivity" claim? That's corporate speak for "we're firing 90% of you next quarter." My favorite line has to be "human taste is now more important than coding skill." Translation: we're keeping Dave from marketing because he has "good vibes" but your 15 years of backend experience? Not vibing enough, sorry. The final gut punch is in the fine print: "technical debt accumulates faster." Yeah, no kidding – that's what happens when you let AI hallucinate your entire infrastructure. But hey, at least we'll "get to MVP quickly" before the whole thing collapses!

Content The chances of me understanding REGEX NULL Also NULL, but in white

Content User Device: "Hello, I would like to hear a bluetooth joke. 6 minutes of pairing Bluetooth Device: no the rest

Content Me: Spends two hours explaining how my code works. The person I'm explaining to: All right, then. Keep your secrets.