I Have Become Llmthe God Of Computing

Content Python: What if everything was a dict? Java: What if everything was an object? JavaScript: What if everything was a dict and an object? C: What if everything was a pointer? APL: What if everything was an array? Tel: What if everything was a string? Prolog: What if everything was a term? LISP: What if everything was a pair? Scheme: What if everything was a function? Haskell: What if everything was a monad? Assembly: What if everything was a register? Cog: What if everything was a typeproposition? COBOL: WHAT IF EVERYTHING WAS UPPERCASE? C: What if everything was like Java, but different? Ruby: What if everything was monkey patched? Pascal: BEGIN What if everything was structured? END C: What if we added everything to the language? C11: What if we forgot to stop adding stuff? Rust: What if garbage collection didn't exist? Go: What if we tried designing C a second time? Perl: What if shell, sed, and awk were one language? Peri6: What if we took the joke too far? PHP: What if we wanted to make SQL injection easier? VB: What if we wanted to allow anyone to program? VB.NET: What if we wanted to stop them again? Forth: What if everything was a stack? ColorForth: What if the stack was green? PostScript: What if everything was printed at 600dpi? XSLT: What if everything was an XML element? Make: What if everything was a dependency? m4: What if everything was incomprehensibly quoted? Scala: What if Haskell ran on the JVM? Clojure: What if LISP ran on the JVM? Lua: What if game developers got tired of C? Mathematica: What if Stephen Wolfram invented everything? Malbolge: What if there is no god? nixcraft

Content What If Drivers Were Hired Like Programmers? Job title: Car Driver Job requirements: Professional skills in driving normal- and heavy-freight cars, buses and trucks, trolley buses, trams, subways, tractors, shovel diggers, contemporary light and heavy tanks currently in use by NATO countries. Skills in rally and extreme driving are obligatory! Formula-1 driving experience is a plus. Knowledge and experience in repairing of piston and rotorWankel engines, automatic and manual transmissions, ignition systems, board computer, ABS, ABD, GPS and car audio systems by world-known manufacturers - obligatory! Experience with car-painting and tinsmith tasks is a plus. The applicants must have certificates by BMW, General Motors and Bosch, but not older than two years. Compensation: 15-20hour, depends on the interview result. Education requirements: Bachelor's Degree of Engineering.

Content When you're arguing with someone but you walk away and hear them say '011001010111100001110100011001010 1110010011011010110100101101110011 000010111010001100101 under their breath

While the cool kids flex their fancy CI/CD pipelines with automated tests and rollbacks, you're over here living dangerously with your IDE directly connected to production via FTP. That nervous sideways glance says it all – you know one wrong keystroke could bring down the entire system, but hey, it's not a bug, it's a feature! Who needs 12 deployment steps when you can just drag-and-drop straight to chaos? The digital equivalent of performing surgery with a chainsaw while blindfolded.

Content My dad at 17 HI learn this skill to make money and feed my future family Me at 17 Cat pointers scary

That special moment when you've convinced yourself that rebuilding Kubernetes from scratch is a perfectly reasonable use of company time. Meanwhile, your coworkers are staring at you with that unique blend of horror and fascination reserved for watching someone volunteer to dig their own grave with a spoon. Building K8s from scratch during standup is the DevOps equivalent of saying "I think I'll climb Everest this weekend" while wearing flip-flops.