His Friends Hate Him And Interviewers Love Him

Content when your code compiles on first try and works correctly I've become more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of

Content Mathematicians Programmers 0!1

The duality of programming existence captured perfectly! When you're coding for fun, you're SpongeBob sitting pretty in a comfy chair with that "I've got all the time in the world" grin. But the moment it's for a school assignment? Suddenly you're post-apocalyptic SpongeBob living in squalor, questioning your life choices and wondering if your code will compile before the heat death of the universe. The transformation from "I'll build a neural network that predicts cat behavior" to "Dear God, please let this for-loop work" happens faster than you can say "syntax error." This is why deadlines and programming mix about as well as water and sodium.

Content Wow, the fortune cookies here really are more accurate Self documenting code is rare. Be kind to yourself, write some comments.

Content CODE COMMENTS BE LIKE STOP THIS IS A STOP SIGN

Oh look, someone just committed the cardinal sin of "doxxing" by revealing the super-secret IP address 192.168.0.1 — you know, the default gateway address that's about as private as shouting your name in an empty room. That's like getting banned for revealing that water is wet or that Stack Overflow will close your question for being a "duplicate" of something posted in 2011. Congratulations on exposing the location of... absolutely nobody. Next up: this dangerous hacker will reveal that your password isn't actually "password123"!