Hexadecimal Dedication From Hell

Content Boy or girl? Hello, world programmer it is

So you start with "STOP USING LINUX" (the gateway drug), then move to "STOP USING DISTROS" (because apparently the entire concept of distributions is now problematic), then "STOP USING HYPRLAND" (getting oddly specific here), and finally "STOP USING macOS" (because why stop at reasonable takes when you can speedrun becoming That Guy™). The progression from rejecting an entire OS family to nitpicking window managers to hating on Apple is the tech equivalent of "first they came for the penguins, and I said nothing." Each video gets progressively more unhinged, like watching someone's descent into madness but with more opinions about package managers. Next up: "STOP USING COMPUTERS" followed by "STOP USING ELECTRICITY" and finally "RETURN TO MONKE, CODE WITH STICKS."

Content Tan Lines from Typical Summer Activities Waterskiing SCUBA Diving Mountain Biking Rollerblading Computer Programming Tennis

Content Jeran Fox jeranfox pretty sure my Gradle build is mining bitcoin 10:43 PM 10 Jan 18 265 Retweets 667 Likes 17

Content GOT THE PRINCESS! HOW TO SAVE THE PRINCESS BY toggl USING 8 PROGRAMMING Goon SquAD LANGUAGES YOU HAVE JAVASCRIPT YoU SPEnD HOURS PICKING LIBRARIES SETTING UP NODE BUILDING A FRAME WORK FOR THE CASTLE. BY THE TIME YoUrE FINISHED WITH THE FRAME WORK, THE FORT HAS BEEN ABANDONED AND THE PRINCESS HAST MOVED TO ANOTHER CASTIC YOU HAVE YOU HAVE A LIBRARY FOR A CASTLE A LIBRARY FOR THE PRINCESS - CHARGE! YoU RESCUE THE PRINCESS HER DOG, HER ENTIRE WARDROBE EVERYTHING SHE HAS EVER EATEN... FUCK - DID FORGET A NULL -TERMINATOR YOU HAVE C YOU SPEND HOURS TRYING TO EXPRESS THE ENTIRE RESCUE IN A SINGLE LINQ QUERY YOU GIVE UP AND GO TO STACKOVERFLOW TO HAVE JON SKEET RESCUE THE PRINCESS FOR YOU You HAVE JAVA YOU QUICKLY DEPLOY THE RESCUE TO PRODUCTION YOU DISCOVER You'vE LOADED TWO VERSIONS OF THE CASTLE BUT NO PRINCESS YoU HAVE LiSp YOU HAVE Go WE DON'T SUPPORT FREEING CAPTURED PRINCESSES WE ALREADY HAVE THESE FREE PRINCESSES IN THE STANDARD LIBR... ... WAIT, IS THIS THE PRINCESS FROM THE JAVA PANEL YOU HAVE PASCAL YOU DECLARE YOUR PRINCESS CASTLE RESCUE PLAN THeN YOU GO FOR A DRINK FORGET ABOUT THE IMPLEMENTATION YOU HAVE PHP YOU HAVE TO RESCUE THE PRINCESS... ... IN PHP... MART VIRKUS '16 ProdrammerHumor.io g toggl

The classic trolley problem, but make it git. You've got one innocent developer on the upper track and a whole team on the lower track. What's a responsible engineer to do? Run git rebase master of course! Plot twist: rebasing doesn't actually save anyone. It just rewrites history so that lone developer who was safe on the upper track now gets yeeted to the lower track with everyone else. The team went from "we're all gonna die together" to "we're STILL all gonna die together, but now with a cleaner commit history." The best part? That "Successfully rebased and updated ref" message is basically git's way of saying "I did what you asked, don't blame me for the consequences." Sure, your branch looks linear and beautiful now, but at what cost? At what cost?! Pro tip: This is why some teams have a strict "no rebase on shared branches" policy. Because one person's quest for a pristine git log can turn into everyone's merge conflict nightmare faster than you can say git reflog .