Helper Doesn't Help

You know that moment when you see a function named helper() or doStuff() and think "finally, some clarity!" Then you open it up and find either a single line that calls another helper, or worse—a 300-line monstrosity that does everything except help you understand what's happening.

The cat's confused stare perfectly captures that betrayal when you realize the "helper" function is about as helpful as a chocolate teapot. It's just abstraction for abstraction's sake, probably written by someone who read one blog post about clean code and went absolutely feral with it.

Pro tip: If your helper function needs its own helper function, you've created a support group, not a solution.