Helper functions Memes

The beautiful irony of good software engineering: you spend hours architecting elegant helper functions, utility classes, and abstraction layers, only to end up with a main function that basically says "run()" and "exit()". It's like building an entire factory just to press one button. But here's the thing—that massive script book contains all the actual logic, error handling, and complexity, while your main function gets to be the minimalist zen master that just orchestrates everything. Clean code principles at their finest: your main should read like poetry while your implementation looks like a legal document. The ratio never lies though. If your main function is longer than your helper code, you're either writing a script or committing crimes against abstraction.

The classic "solve one problem by creating three more" approach! Instead of actually refactoring that monstrosity of a function, just chop it into three equally cryptic helpers and call it a day. The code reviewer's sunglasses aren't dark enough to hide their disappointment, but hey—technically you followed the "functions should be shorter" rule. It's not spaghetti code anymore; it's spaghetti with meatballs. Bonus points if helper2() just calls helper1() and helper3() with zero actual logic changes.