First day at my new job and I find this class diagram

Content IT guys Googling (Wireless (A)ccesso (P)oints SPardi B Megan Thee Stallion

Content LOOK. ANOTHER DUDE WHO IS ASKING IF YOU WOULD DATE HIM AS HE WORKS IN THESE LANGUAGES SEEP NO ONE CARES. IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE

Content Vim is a boomer shit that's not better than vscode at all CHANGE MY MIND

Content Me Yelling at Computer: Why won't this work? It isn't that hard! The computer, doing what its told: The IDE that thought the unused variable was more important: The backend dev wondering why O am hard- coding ISON Objects: The missing semicolon: I'm about to end this man's whole career Users who made their own operating systems and StackOverflow users who dont postanswers: Signature look of superiority. former Pathetic. The compiler after hearing me say I will quit programming if this doesn't work: Doubt Made with GIMP

The Java logo has become the universal symbol for "this will make anything unnecessarily complex and resource-hungry, but somehow still work." Slap that bad boy on a broken appliance, and suddenly it's not just a vacuum—it's an enterprise-grade dust acquisition system with 16GB memory requirements and three dependency injection frameworks. The only thing missing is the vacuum asking if you want to update it every 3 minutes while you're trying to clean.

The oldest trick in the developer handbook: wrapping problematic code in an if (true) block with a return statement instead of properly commenting it out. Top panel: Java compiler screaming "unreachable statement" because those Star Wars lightsaber sound effects will never execute after the return . Bottom panel: The developer feeling smug after "fixing" the issue by wrapping the return in an if (true) block, tricking the compiler into thinking those ridiculous sound effects might actually run someday. Nine years of software engineering experience and we're still pulling stunts like this instead of using version control like adults.