alright, which one of you is this

Content Raf Rasenberg rafrasenberg What I am: - Programmer What I'm not: - Facebook Hacker - Printer Wisperer - Laptop Repairer - Spreadsheet Wizard - App Troubleshooter - E-mail Assistant - Bluetooth Ninja

The only thing stopping me from coding at 30,000 feet is my fear of someone seeing my spaghetti code with 17 nested if-statements and variable names like temp_fix_pls_delete and idk_why_this_works . Nothing says "professional developer" like frantically Googling basic syntax while the person next to you judges your life choices. The real turbulence isn't outside the plane—it's in my codebase.

Content Johnny, Johnny Eating RAM again? Telling lies again? Open your mouth. Yes, Papa? No, Papa. No, Papa. 2476 1352AMB

When your boss says "we need to implement machine learning" but all you really need is a simple if-statement. The eternal struggle of devs everywhere - getting asked to use a sledgehammer when a regular hammer would do just fine. The math behind ML is the unsexy reality nobody wants to talk about at standup.

Content DONE-DONE JUNIOR DEV MONKEYUSER.COM DONE! SENIOR DEV v FEATURE

Ah, the ancient hieroglyphics of your own creation! That moment when you return to code after a fortnight and suddenly it's like deciphering an archaeological find. Your past self apparently thought variable names like x1 , temp_var_final2 , and doTheThing() were perfectly self-explanatory. The caffeine-fueled logic that made perfect sense at 2AM now resembles cryptic runes that would baffle even the most seasoned compiler. And of course, not a single comment to be found—because past-you was clearly writing "self-documenting code" that future-you now wants to throw out the window.