Government it Memes

Posts tagged with Government it

Nerds Are Built Different

Nerds Are Built Different
Government cybersecurity out here flexing like they're ready to take on any threat, batting away script kiddies like flies at a picnic. Meanwhile, some random homelabber who spent their weekend setting up a Raspberry Pi cluster and learning Kubernetes for fun has achieved FINAL FORM and ascended to godhood. The homelabber's cybersecurity setup is so absurdly overpowered it makes government infrastructure look like a toy. We're talking VLANs, firewalls, intrusion detection systems, zero-trust architecture, and probably a custom-compiled kernel because why not. All protecting... what exactly? Their Plex server and a collection of Linux ISOs? The dedication is absolutely unhinged and we love it. Turns out when you're spending your own money and actually care about learning, you build Fort Knox. When it's a government contract with the lowest bidder... well, you get Windows XP running critical infrastructure in 2024.

Backups Are Overrated

Backups Are Overrated
Ah, the classic "backups are overrated" followed by a complete national disaster. Nothing says "I told you so" quite like 647 government systems going offline simultaneously. And just when you thought it couldn't get worse, an SUV catches fire in the parking lot of the already-burned data center. It's like watching someone drop their phone in water, dry it in rice, then drop it in their soup. The cherry on top? The official in charge of "managing errors" decided gravity was the quickest way to resolve his ticket queue. Somewhere, a sysadmin who suggested redundant offsite backups is silently drinking coffee while watching the world burn.

Doge Plans To Rebuild SSA COBOL Codebase In Java In Months

Doge Plans To Rebuild SSA COBOL Codebase In Java In Months
Ah yes, the classic "let's rewrite decades of legacy code in a few months" fantasy. For those who don't know, COBOL is the programming equivalent of that ancient Nokia phone your grandpa still uses โ€“ outdated but somehow keeping entire nations running. Converting tens of millions of lines of COBOL that handle checks notes just the entire Social Security system to Java is like trying to transplant a whale's brain into a dolphin over a weekend. What could possibly go wrong? Just the financial security of every retiree in America. The best part is the "DOGE wants it done in months" bit. Nothing says "I've never written a line of code in my life" quite like thinking you can replace a 60-year-old system that processes trillions of dollars before your Jira subscription expires. Fun fact: The last time someone tried something similar, they spent $100 million and got absolutely nowhere. But hey, this time it'll be different because... reasons.