Don't touch it Memes

Posts tagged with Don't touch it

Don't Touch It If It Works

Don't Touch It If It Works
The classic "it works but I have no idea why" scenario. Your code's like that bird—technically flying, but in the most chaotic, physics-defying way possible. After 15 years of coding, I've learned the sacred rule: when something works through pure accident rather than design, you just back away slowly and leave it alone. Ship it. Document it as "proprietary algorithm" and never speak of it again. The right side is what happens when you try to "clean up" that spaghetti code that was somehow working.

Legacy Code

Legacy Code
Oh man, this hits WAY too close to home! 😂 Those stacked books with "THESE BOOKS ARE HERE FOR AN ESSENTIAL STRUCTURAL PURPOSE. THEY ARE NOT FOR SALE." is basically legacy code in physical form! You know, that ancient codebase nobody understands but everyone's terrified to touch because the whole system might collapse? The code that's literally holding up your entire production environment but has zero documentation? Yeah, THAT code. Touch it and the entire company implodes! The perfect metaphor for why we're all stuck maintaining 20-year-old spaghetti code written by developers who left the company during the dot-com bubble!

Scientists vs Programmers: The Miracle Of Working Code

Scientists vs Programmers: The Miracle Of Working Code
Scientists: "Let's methodically figure out why this works." Programmers: "NOBODY MOVE! DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING! It's working through some arcane digital sorcery that will instantly vanish if we dare question it!" The difference is clear. Scientists seek understanding. Programmers worship at the altar of "it works on my machine" and treat working code like a house of cards built by a ghost. The number of production systems running on unexplainable fixes and accidental solutions would terrify the general public.