Scientists vs Programmers: The Miracle Of Working Code

The eternal cycle of developer suffering, perfectly captured. First, the innocent dev proudly declares "it works on my machine" – the programmer's equivalent of "not my problem." Then the soul-crushing response: "Then we'll ship your machine." The punchline hits like that production bug at 4:59pm on Friday – Docker swoops in to save us from ourselves by packaging everything into containers. No more dependency hell, no more "but it worked locally!" excuses. Just pure, containerized salvation. The real miracle is that it only took us decades of suffering to figure out we should stop torturing each other with environment inconsistencies.

Content SOFTWARE ENGINEER CHEAT SHEET Source:TheCooperReview.com It's a non-trivial amount of work I won't be able to copy and paste This is a temporary This is a permanent solution solution lIl be finished by Monday That's funny Do you want it done fast or do you want it done right? Just file a bug I won't tell you which Monday I literally hate you It will be neither I have no idea what you're saying right now That's an expansion forgot you needed that feature of scope We can't test that We can but we won't I'll just put it behind a flag for now It will never ship I can't realistically estimate that - I don't know how estimates work I don't think users will care about that have dinner reservations at 8 This is an Alpha release It doesn't work This is a Beta release We fixed a lot of bugs but it still doesn't work I'll add that to the I'm hoping you'll forget about it backlog We are focusing on - I'm going to go take a nap high priority fixes only

Ah, the infinite loop of modern laziness! Instead of writing a prompt for an AI, this developer decides to make an AI write prompts for another AI... only to realize they've accidentally created recursion. It's like telling your intern to hire another intern to do their work. The real kicker? They think this accidental stack overflow is "peak software engineering." This is what happens when you're too clever for your own good but not clever enough to recognize you've just reinvented the wheel with extra steps. Somewhere, a computer science professor is weeping.

Content Me Copilot We finish each other's Sandwiches imaflip.com DAMMIT COPILOT

Content 6 STAGES OF DEBUGGING 1. That can't happen. 2. That doesn't happen on my machine. 3. That shouldn't happen. 4. Why does that happen? 5. Oh, I see. 6. How did that ever work?

When your user reports that the app "glitches and summons a tornado" on their house, you know you're dealing with a special kind of bug report. The expected behavior? "The app crashes instead of summoning a tornado." Because apparently crashing is the reasonable alternative here. The actual behavior is even better: their insurance company dropped them. And the steps to reproduce? "I have no idea. It happens rarely, randomly, and with seemingly no common cause." Chef's kiss. That's the holy trinity of impossible-to-debug issues right there. But wait, there's more! They helpfully included a picture of the tornado. Because nothing says "professional bug report" like attaching evidence of property damage. At least they provided system info though—Ubuntu 25.04 with dual GPUs. Clearly the tornado is a GPU driver conflict. Username "TheBrokenRail" checks out. Can't reproduce, closing as "works on my machine." 🌪️