Dead code Memes

Posts tagged with Dead code

The Uncalled Function Destroyer

The Uncalled Function Destroyer
Seventeen days in and this developer has already achieved enlightenment: deleting dead code with zero hesitation. Most engineers spend months tiptoeing around unused functions like they're ancient artifacts that might curse the entire codebase if disturbed. Not this legend. They're out here Marie Kondo-ing the repo on day seventeen, yeeting functions straight to main like they own the place. The energy here is immaculate. No pull request anxiety, no "but what if we need it later?" Just pure, unfiltered confidence in code deletion. Either they're incredibly brave or their onboarding process was chef's kiss . Meanwhile, senior devs are probably sweating bullets wondering if that function was actually load-bearing for some obscure edge case from 2019. Pro tip: Dead code is like that gym membership you never use. It costs nothing to keep around, but deep down you know it's just taking up space and making you feel guilty.

First Day, First Disaster

First Day, First Disaster
First day on the job and already pushing untested code to production? Bold move, André. Very bold. Nothing says "I belong here" like finding dead code and immediately resurrecting it without asking questions. The senior devs are probably having collective heart attacks while frantically checking Cloudflare's status page. That "Happy to be part of the team" is gonna age like milk when they discover what function he just unleashed upon the world. Somewhere, a DevOps engineer is updating their resume while muttering "not my fault" under their breath.

Practically Equivalent Refactor

Practically Equivalent Refactor
OH. MY. GOD. Someone actually wrote a function that checks if a deck is unique by comparing it to previous decks, loops through ALL 52 CARDS, and then... PLOT TWIST... returns true no matter what! 🤦‍♀️ The drama here is ASTRONOMICAL! That entire red section is just elaborate theater that does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. It's like building an entire security system for your house but leaving the key under the mat with a neon sign saying "KEY HERE!" The function name promises uniqueness but delivers LIES. Trust issues? I have them now.