Data-security Memes

Posts tagged with Data-security

Recycling My Old PC: Can't Steal My Data If There Are No Platters

Recycling My Old PC: Can't Steal My Data If There Are No Platters
The paranoid tech veteran's approach to data security: physically removing the hard drive platters. Sure, you could use DBAN or a hammer, but where's the satisfaction in that? This is like bringing a tactical nuke to a knife fight—complete overkill that would make any security auditor simultaneously applaud and facepalm. For the uninitiated, those metal discs (platters) are where your embarrassing browser history and collection of half-finished side projects actually live. No platters = no evidence of that framework you started building in 2018 and abandoned after three commits. Bonus points for the "I was bored" justification—the universal explanation for both brilliant engineering solutions and catastrophic tech disasters since the dawn of computing.

Base64 Is Not Encryption

Base64 Is Not Encryption
Every junior dev thinks they've invented encryption when they discover Base64. The number of times I've had to explain that encoding ≠ encryption is probably why my hair's thinning. Base64 is just fancy dress for your data – anyone can undress it with zero effort. It's like hiding your house key under the doormat and calling it a security system. And the response is always the same: "Fine! I'll just use Base128 then!" Sure buddy, throw more digits at the problem. That'll fix it. Just like how writing your password in bigger letters makes it more secure.

What's Stopping Your Codebase From Looking Like This

What's Stopping Your Codebase From Looking Like This
The pristine folder structure in the left panel is the stuff of developer fantasies! A beautifully organized project with logical entity relationships and clear naming conventions. Meanwhile, the actual JSON file on the right is a truncated mess with fields like "password" and "birthdate" just hanging out in plain text. Nothing says "technical debt" quite like storing sensitive user data without proper encryption or hashing. The real answer to "What's stopping your codebase from looking like this?" is probably three deadlines ago, five energy drinks, and that one PM who keeps saying "we'll refactor later."