Callbacks Memes

Posts tagged with Callbacks

Stop The Functional Madness

Stop The Functional Madness
Functional programming: where simple loops become philosophical dissertations on category theory. The cult that promised elegance but delivered AbstractWidgetLocalizerManagerFactoryBean instead. You know you've reached peak programming enlightenment when asking for a simple function requires a PhD in mathematics and the ability to understand what a monad actually is (spoiler: nobody knows, they just pretend). The functional purists have been making us write fold and curry functions for years while secretly laughing at how we've traded straightforward code for the privilege of feeling superior at meetups. And we fell for it. Hook, line, and higher-order function.

Don't You Hate It When That Happens

Don't You Hate It When That Happens
Ah, the classic Teletubbies invasion of your codebase! The meme brilliantly shows how synchronous functions (a through e) work together in harmony, holding hands in a neat little circle. But then that one async function shows up and BOOM – suddenly your clean execution flow is replaced by an army of purple creatures taking over everything. This is basically what happens when you introduce that first async function into your previously synchronous paradise. One minute you're writing nice, predictable code where everything happens in order. The next minute you're dealing with promises, callbacks, race conditions, and wondering why your console is printing results in what seems like a completely random order. And just like Teletubbies, once async enters your codebase, it multiplies uncontrollably until your entire project is saying "Eh-oh" to debugging sanity.

Scary Turn It Off

Scary Turn It Off
Ah yes, the classic clickbait article about asynchronous operations where the numbers are completely out of order. Because that's the joke – asynchronous code doesn't execute in the sequence you wrote it. Your callback functions will return whenever they damn well please, just like these list items. The author didn't mess up the numbering; they're just demonstrating the chaotic reality of async programming where "3" finishes before "1" and your sanity slowly dissolves into a puddle of Promise.all() rejections.