Bun Memes

Oh, the absolute AUDACITY of listing "Rewrites Bun in Rust" as a casual bullet point like it's just another Tuesday feature update! You fix 2,900 GitHub issues, add 1,500+ tests, make everything faster and more efficient, reduce memory by 35%, and THEN casually mention you rewrote your entire JavaScript runtime in a different language. No big deal, right? Just a little side quest! It's giving "I'll just refactor this one function" energy that somehow escalates into rewriting the entire codebase in a completely different language because why not? The Rust evangelists are probably framing this tweet on their walls as we speak. Meanwhile, the rest of us are still trying to fix that one CSS alignment issue from last week.

So the JavaScript runtime that promised to dethrone Node.js is getting a complete rewrite in Rust because, surprise, writing a high-performance runtime in Zig wasn't quite cutting it for memory safety. The devs are celebrating "memory safety" like they just discovered fire, while completely ignoring that they're literally wheeling in a Trojan horse full of Rust evangelists ready to "rewrite it in Rust" everything they touch. Claude (the AI) is apparently doing the heavy lifting here, which means we've reached peak 2024: using AI to rewrite your JavaScript runtime in Rust because manual memory management is hard. Give it six months and someone will propose rewriting the Rust parts in Zig for "performance reasons" and the cycle continues. Meanwhile, Node.js is just sitting there, battle-tested and stable, watching this whole circus unfold.

So cargo watch gets deprecated in Rust and the replacement is bacon . Cool, fine, whatever. But then someone tries to use it with Bun (the JavaScript runtime that's trying to replace Node) and their gherkin—sorry, I mean gerkin , the Cucumber testing framework—starts throwing a fit. The beautiful chaos here is watching someone try to mix Rust tooling with JavaScript tooling while running Chai tests in a runtime that's basically speedrunning the "move fast and break things" philosophy. It's like ordering a bacon cheeseburger but the restaurant gives you a fish sandwich and your pickle is filing a complaint. Welcome to 2024, where we have so many tools that even their names sound like breakfast items and nobody knows what works with what anymore. Just wait until someone tries to run this with Deno and a side of Toast.