Blame Memes

Posts tagged with Blame

Git Blame Anyone But Myself

Git Blame Anyone But Myself
The first comment: "When I do git blame, it's not about finding the person who did the mistake. I want to find out when the code was added, which task it was related to, and if I need more details, the person who wrote the code." The reply: "I use git blame just to make sure it wasn't me before I go on a tirade..." Ah yes, the two types of developers. The professional who uses tools for their intended purpose, and the rest of us who just want plausible deniability before ranting in Slack. Nothing quite like that moment of relief when you discover someone else wrote that abomination, followed by the crushing realization it was actually you from three years ago.

The Great Production Server Escape

The Great Production Server Escape
Ah, the classic production server meltdown scenario. Nothing triggers the fight-or-flight response quite like hearing those dreaded words: "Who was working on the server?" That's when you suddenly develop superhuman speed and peripheral vision loss. Ten years of experience has taught me that no explanation involving "just a small config change" will save you from becoming the human sacrifice at the emergency postmortem meeting. The fastest developers aren't the ones who can type 120 WPM—they're the ones who can disappear before their name gets mentioned in the incident report.

Git Blame Someone Else

Git Blame Someone Else
Finally, a Git command that matches what we're all thinking! This fake package lets you rewrite Git history to blame your bugs on someone else, complete with a savage "You're officially an asshole" confirmation message. Every senior dev has fantasized about this after inheriting legacy code from that one colleague who mysteriously left right before their spaghetti code exploded in production. The Linus Torvalds endorsement is just chef's kiss perfection - because nothing says "authentic Git experience" like casual profanity and shifting responsibility.

A Solution For Code Reviews

A Solution For Code Reviews
The ultimate developer escape hatch has arrived! Some genius created a GitHub repo called "git-blame-someone-else" with 11k stars and counting. It's basically the digital equivalent of writing "not my fault" in your commit messages, but automated. The repo description says it all: "Blame someone else for your bad code." Finally, a way to attribute those questionable 3 AM coding decisions to your coworkers! The MIT license is just chef's kiss—legally allowing you to distribute your blame. Who needs accountability when you have this repo? Your tech debt just became somebody else's problem!

It Wasn't Me: The Git Blame Game

It Wasn't Me: The Git Blame Game
That sweet, sweet vindication when you're falsely accused of breaking production with your commit. Nothing quite like the moment when evidence clears your name and the real culprit is found lurking in someone else's spaghetti code. Meanwhile, the entire dev team already sent you 37 passive-aggressive Slack messages.