The Ultimate Linux Hardware Requirement

Content People who don't know how to exit VIM Me who doesn't even know how to execute it

Your laptop isn't preparing for takeoff—it's just trying to run npm install. At 25,500 RPM, that fan isn't cooling your CPU—it's auditioning for NASA's next rocket engine. The cores are hitting 65°C while idling, which means opening Chrome would probably trigger your home's fire alarm. Remember when we used to put laptops on our laps? Now they're basically portable space heaters with keyboards attached.

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THE ABSOLUTE DRAMA of Linux discovering its own demographic! First, a furry admin posts some UwU nonsense, causing the official Linux account to have a COMPLETE MELTDOWN and try to fire them. But then—PLOT TWIST—they discover that a whopping 40% of Linux users are furries! 💀 The sheer PANIC as they realize they can't alienate nearly half their userbase is just *chef's kiss*. Capitalism wins again! Nothing says "principles for sale" quite like discovering your penguin-loving community is also heavily into animal costumes!

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Nothing screams "tech superiority" quite like typing cryptic commands in a black terminal while your non-technical friend watches in bewildered horror. The raw power that courses through your veins when you sudo apt-get update in front of someone who thinks you're hacking the Pentagon is simply unmatched. Sure, money buys yachts and status gets you into fancy restaurants, but making eye contact with someone while you casually pipe grep output to awk? That's the kind of high no offshore account can provide.