Thankfully No JavaScript Allowed

Content I MADE A BOOKIIT'G OUT ON MAY 13 A CHILDREN'S BOOK THAT'S ALSO FOR GROWN UPS: MY NAME 15 404. PRE-ORDER IT ON AMAZON! QUAX NET SPAGHETTI CODE TANGLED, INTERTWINED, MESSY. CHANGING SOMETHING ON ONE SIDE WILL BREAK SOMETHING THE THER. TRYING TO TAME THIS BE AST WILL LEAVE LOT OF PEOPLE COLORED RED LASAGNA CODE LAYERS. LAYERS, AND THEN SOME MORE LAYERS. OH, YOU WANT TO ACCESS SOME PROPERTY FROM CLASS X? SORRY, NO CAN 2; AND BAFE TO ACCESS IF MAYBE YOU CAN GO THROUGH CLASSES OR MAYBE IT'S EASIER TO DO AN API CALL TO YOUR OWN SERVICE JUST SO OU HAVE ALL THE DATA YOU NEED RAVIOLI CODE WAY TOO MANY MODULESNODESCLASSES. AND THEYRE ALL TIN. WHaT DOES THIS DO? BUT THEN WHaT'S THaT? WHY IS THIS SPLIT UP IN FIVE CLASSES? DO WE REALLY NEED A MODULE FOR SIMPLE IS-ODD CHECK DON'T PUT EVERY 7 FUCKING LINES IN ITS OWN CLASS, DAVE. GNOCCHI CODE UNREADABLE BLOBS OF CODE. YOU CAN TELL THERE'S A LOT GOING ON INSIDE, BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT. CHANGING THESE DENSE CHUNKS OF UNREADABILITY AFTER THE FACT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE. IT'LL BREAK APART FOR SURE. SPAGHETTI CODE IN THE CLOUD THIS IS YOUR FUTURE. EMBRACE YOUR NEW OVERLORD. COEDITS tO MOD ProarammerHumor.io CONSOLIA-COMIC.COM

Content YOU HAVE 3 WISHES. DO THE OP. POSITE OF MY NEXT WISH. DON'T FULFIL MY THIRD WISH. IGNORE MY FIRST WISH. Critical error Astutillo Smeriglia D

Content GOT THE PRINCESS! HOW TO SAVE THE PRINCESS BY toggl USING 8 PROGRAMMING Goon SquAD LANGUAGES YOU HAVE JAVASCRIPT YoU SPEnD HOURS PICKING LIBRARIES SETTING UP NODE BUILDING A FRAME WORK FOR THE CASTLE. BY THE TIME YoUrE FINISHED WITH THE FRAME WORK, THE FORT HAS BEEN ABANDONED AND THE PRINCESS HAST MOVED TO ANOTHER CASTIC YOU HAVE YOU HAVE A LIBRARY FOR A CASTLE A LIBRARY FOR THE PRINCESS - CHARGE! YoU RESCUE THE PRINCESS HER DOG, HER ENTIRE WARDROBE EVERYTHING SHE HAS EVER EATEN... FUCK - DID FORGET A NULL -TERMINATOR YOU HAVE C YOU SPEND HOURS TRYING TO EXPRESS THE ENTIRE RESCUE IN A SINGLE LINQ QUERY YOU GIVE UP AND GO TO STACKOVERFLOW TO HAVE JON SKEET RESCUE THE PRINCESS FOR YOU You HAVE JAVA YOU QUICKLY DEPLOY THE RESCUE TO PRODUCTION YOU DISCOVER You'vE LOADED TWO VERSIONS OF THE CASTLE BUT NO PRINCESS YoU HAVE LiSp YOU HAVE Go WE DON'T SUPPORT FREEING CAPTURED PRINCESSES WE ALREADY HAVE THESE FREE PRINCESSES IN THE STANDARD LIBR... ... WAIT, IS THIS THE PRINCESS FROM THE JAVA PANEL YOU HAVE PASCAL YOU DECLARE YOUR PRINCESS CASTLE RESCUE PLAN THeN YOU GO FOR A DRINK FORGET ABOUT THE IMPLEMENTATION YOU HAVE PHP YOU HAVE TO RESCUE THE PRINCESS... ... IN PHP... MART VIRKUS '16 ProdrammerHumor.io g toggl

C++ developers crushing under the weight of compile-time errors while JavaScript developers happily building staircases with runtime disasters that'll explode in production. One breaks your build, the other breaks your soul at 2AM when customers call. The difference? C++ punishes you immediately; JavaScript waits until you've deployed to 10,000 users. Choose your poison.

Picture this: It's Christmas Eve, you're cozy by the fireplace, and suddenly you remember you need to install that one npm package for tomorrow's deployment. What could possibly go wrong? Everything. EVERYTHING could go wrong. Because that innocent little package you're installing has decided to bring its entire extended family reunion of dependencies—we're talking hundreds, maybe THOUSANDS of packages flooding into your node_modules like they're storming the Bastille. Your terminal is scrolling faster than a slot machine, and you're just sitting there watching package after package install, each one a potential security vulnerability waiting to ruin your holiday. Meanwhile, Santa's up there on Christmas night, probably also running npm install to manage his naughty/nice list database, experiencing the exact same existential dread. Two forces of nature, united in their shared trauma of dependency hell. The perfect Christmas alliance nobody asked for but everyone in JavaScript land deserves. Fun fact: The average npm package has about 80 dependencies. Merry Christmas, your simple "hello world" app now depends on more code than the Space Shuttle.

Content Coding Best Practices: code must be self-documenting, so that even a brief look at it may tell you what it does. 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 Me: Uhm... Like this? p 1 a 1 ? ) (f 0 a? n (n, 2 ) f (p) p ) ) f ( (! n a1 a 1e2) console. log (...p) DEBUG CONSOLE usrlocalbinnode .prime.js 2 3 5 7 11 13 17 19 23 29 31 37 41 43 47 53 59 61 67 71 73 79 83 89 97