Thankfully No JavaScript Allowed

When JavaScript makes you want to set your computer on fire, just remember Java devs are stuck writing 15 lines of code to print "Hello World" in some corporate basement. Suddenly your undefined is not null errors don't seem so bad. Nothing calms the JavaScript rage like realizing you could be writing enterprise Java instead. Perspective is a beautiful thing.

Jeff Atwood's infamous prophecy that haunts backend developers' nightmares. What started as a joke in 2007 has become our reality - Electron apps, Node.js servers, and even freaking desktop operating systems running JavaScript. The language that was cobbled together in 10 days has somehow consumed everything in its path like some kind of unstoppable syntax blob. Resistance is futile. Your precious C++ application? Rewritten in JS. Your Java backend? Now it's Express. Your sanity? Long gone.

JavaScript devs discovering that literally everything inherits from Object.prototype: strings, numbers, booleans, arrays, functions, even null and undefined (well, almost). You think you're working with primitives? Nope, they get auto-boxed into objects the moment you call a method on them. That innocent "hello".toUpperCase() ? Your string just became a String object behind the scenes. JavaScript's prototype chain is like that friend who insists everyone at the party is related somehow. Try typeof null returning "object" and watch the existential crisis unfold. The language took "everything is an object" from Python and Ruby, then cranked it up to eleven with some delightfully weird type coercion sprinkled on top.

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Content 78 What's the difference between JavaScript and Java? lava javascript 303 share edited Sep 4 40 at 19:29 Peter Mortensen 11.3k 16 78 110 asked Oct 28 '08 at 22:10 Guy 27.1k 0 77 0 213 275 408 One is essentially a toy, designed for writing small pieces of code, and traditionally used and abused bv Inexperienced programmers. The other is a scripting language for web browsers. share answered Oct 28 '08 at 22:14 Shog9 4 117k 30 197 225

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