The Biggest Enemy Is Ourselves Plus Plus

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting (E ALL); ini set("display errors" true); print('?yml version"1.0" encodina" TF.8" ?' "n"):?

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Content Florida Man Dies In Explosion After Attempting To Microwave A Microwave I'm Luis! - (Zerquix18) (I July 3, 2018 Society Views: 116 3 A Florida man has had one of the most epic deaths we've ever written about. 26-year old Bill Davis died yesterday after attempting to microwave a

Content rProgrammerHumor Starter Pack Has never coded javascript uses markup and syntax ;unironically ,in regular conversation php APPLICATION FOR UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS top comment in every thread is a Python joke, regardless of content "DID WE MENTION WE HATE JAVASCRIPT" slack screenshots Half the comment section: "I writed code, too" Totepadit "I only use sublime bro" insert "null object" joke wherever possible ProdrammerHumor.io

Content How to fix any computer The Oatmeal http:theoatmeal.com Windows Step I. Reboot Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step 2 Step a. Format hard drive. Reinstall Windows. Lose all your files. Quietly weep. Apple Step I. Take it to an Apple store. Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step a Step 2. Buy a new Mac. Overdraw your account. Quietly weep. Linux Step 1. Learn to code in Ct. Recompile the kernel. Build your own microprocessor out of spare silicon you had lying around. Recompile the kernel again. Switch distros. Recompile the kernel again but this time using a CPU powered by refracted light from Saturn. Grow a gant beard. Blame Sun Microsystems. Turn your bedroom into a server closet and spend ten years falling asleep to the sound of whirring fans. Switch distros again. Abandon all hygiene. Write a regular expression that would make other programmers cry blood. Learn to code in Java Recompile the kernel again (but this time while wearing your lucky socks) Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step a n Step a. Revert back to using Windows or a Mac Quietly weep.

The eternal tech love triangle. Programmers claim to be proficient in multiple languages on their résumés, but the moment Python enters the room, suddenly nothing else matters. The whiteboard coding interview might as well be a Python documentation reading session. Sure, that Java experience was impressive until the hiring manager mentioned "data science" and watched everyone frantically Google "how to implement list comprehension."