Why Did We Give Up Upgradeable CPUs In Exchange For Anorexic Laptops?

Remember when laptops had ports? Like, actual ports you could use? VGA, Ethernet, USB-A, headphone jack, maybe even a DVD drive if you were fancy. Those thicc boys on the left let you swap RAM, upgrade storage, and occasionally even replace the CPU without needing a degree in microsurgery.

Now we've got these ultra-thin fashion statements that throttle at 80°C, have everything soldered to the motherboard, and require a dongle for literally everything. Sure, they look sleek in coffee shops, but good luck fixing anything yourself. One component dies? Better sell a kidney for a new motherboard.

The industry convinced everyone that 2mm of thickness savings was worth sacrificing repairability, upgradeability, and thermal performance. We traded function for form, and now we're stuck with laptops that are basically expensive disposable devices. Real men prefer fat laptops because they actually want their hardware to last longer than the warranty period.