The Three Stages Of PC Build Grief

Ah yes, that first BIOS encounter. One minute you're just trying to fix your aunt's laptop, the next you're pressing Delete like a maniac during boot, and suddenly—BAM—you're a hacker in The Matrix. Green text on black background, cryptic settings about things called "AHCI" and "PCI latency," and you have absolutely no idea what you're doing but feel like you could launch nuclear missiles with one wrong move. The "Tehc" guy perfectly captures that "I have ascended beyond mere mortals" feeling while actually being one misclick away from bricking the system.

The eternal hardware arms race strikes again! Console gamers (depicted as happy little Squirtles) are devastated when a game is next-gen only, meaning they need to shell out $500 for a new console. Meanwhile, PC gamers are practically having a Victorian death scene when a new game requires RTX GPUs - because that's not just $500, that's potentially $1500+ for a graphics card that's perpetually "out of stock" or "slightly cheaper than a kidney on the black market." The irony? Both groups will still find a way to buy the hardware while complaining about ramen dinners for the next six months.

Ah, the eternal gaming platform war—where everyone's arguing over consoles vs PC when some lunatic throws "mobile is better" into the mix. It's like watching two professional chefs argue about gas vs. electric stoves, and then the intern suggests using an Easy-Bake Oven instead. Both console and PC gamers momentarily stop their religious war to share that rare moment of unity: pure horror at the mobile gaming heresy. Nothing brings enemies together like a common threat to civilization itself.

Your laptop isn't preparing for takeoff—it's just trying to run npm install. At 25,500 RPM, that fan isn't cooling your CPU—it's auditioning for NASA's next rocket engine. The cores are hitting 65°C while idling, which means opening Chrome would probably trigger your home's fire alarm. Remember when we used to put laptops on our laps? Now they're basically portable space heaters with keyboards attached.

Ah, the infamous RGB lighting on a gaming PC that's bright enough to signal aliens! The joke here is brilliant—calling it a "demon core" references the notorious nuclear physics experiment that emitted deadly blue light when criticality was reached. Your GPU isn't just rendering frames—it's rendering your retinas useless! That's what happens when you max out those RGB settings and create a miniature sun in your bedroom. The PC master race's equivalent of a nuclear meltdown is three fans of blinding blue light at 3am when you're just trying to fix that one bug. Pro tip: If you can see your skeleton through your hand when checking your RAM, you might want to dial down those settings in the RGB controller software. Your corneas will thank you.

The eternal battle between aesthetics and functionality in PC building. Top panel: a gorgeous $200 horizontal case with perfect cable management, RGB lighting, and probably cooling that would make Antarctica jealous. Bottom panel: literally a computer thrown under an old sewing machine table with a random barrel nearby for... ambiance? Every developer eventually reaches this enlightenment. Your first build is all about the perfect components and matching RGB. Your tenth build is whatever keeps the CPU from thermal throttling while you debug that production issue at 2AM. Function over form. Ship it and move on. The code doesn't care if your battlestation looks like it belongs in a dumpster.