Unverified Git User But Still Works

The GitHub contribution graph—where darker green means you're a coding machine and lighter green means you occasionally remember your password. The interviewer is confused because this guy's squares are dark green (meaning tons of commits) but somehow he has "less contributions." Plot twist: he's just really good at squashing 47 panicked debug commits into one elegant pull request. His smug "I got it right the first time" response is the programming equivalent of claiming you've never googled "how to center a div" or "what does NaN mean again?"

Oh nooo! The ghost keeps saying "Boo" but the stick figure isn't scared... until they reveal their true horror - using zip files for version control! 😱 You know you've reached peak coding chaos when your version control system is just a folder of proj_1.zip , proj_2.zip , and the dreaded proj_last.zip ! The ghost couldn't scare them, but their file management made every developer scream in terror! Git commit or get haunted by your own file system!

Garbage in, garbage out has never been more relevant. GitHub's Copilot learned from millions of repos, including your spaghetti code with 27 nested if-statements and variables named 'temp1', 'temp2', and 'finalForRealThisTime'. Now AI is suggesting the same atrocities back to you. It's karma in digital form - the technical debt you've been accumulating for years is finally sending you an invoice.

The eternal GitHub vs GitLab debate summed up in one perfect comic. Sure, Mom says she loves both platforms equally, but we all know where her Git repository really lies. Let's be honest - every dev team claims to be "platform agnostic" until it's time to actually choose where to host code. Then suddenly GitHub gets all the attention while GitLab sits in the corner wondering why its CI/CD pipeline and integrated DevOps features aren't enough to win Mom's heart. The "by a lot" is what kills me. It's that brutal honesty you only get after 3am during a production outage.

GitHub's homepage is basically the digital equivalent of those fancy hotel lobbies nobody actually uses. Sure, it shows your repositories (all two of them), some activity feed nobody reads, and recommendations you'll definitely ignore. The real action happens when you frantically type "git clone" in terminal after clicking that tiny green "Code" button. Developers spend approximately 0.003% of their GitHub time on this page before immediately navigating to what they actually came for. It's like putting a beautiful welcome mat in front of a door everyone enters through the garage.

The eternal game show of developer excuses! That smug cat knows exactly what we're all thinking when faced with the dreaded "it doesn't work" complaint. Each answer represents a classic defense mechanism from our collective programming trauma: A) "Somebody must have changed my code" - The ghost in the machine defense, perfect for teams with sketchy version control. B) "I haven't touched the code in weeks!" - The temporal alibi, as if code degrades like milk left in the sun. C) "It worked yesterday" - The quantum uncertainty principle of programming. Schrödinger's bug, if you will. D) "It works on my machine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" - The final boss of developer excuses, complete with the universal shrug of technical absolution. The correct answer? All of the above, simultaneously, while quietly checking if you forgot to push that critical fix.