Do Not Redeem!!!

Remember when we thought AI would just take over mundane jobs? Fast forward to 2023, and GitHub Copilot is writing code while game developers are sweating bullets. The Terminator isn't coming for Sarah Connor anymore—it's coming for your job security and your gaming time. Soon we'll all be sitting in corners wondering what's left for humans to do besides watching AI play better Halo than we ever could.

The AUDACITY of real life to interrupt a perfectly good simulation game! 💅 Marriage can wait, but these virtual citizens NEED their roller coasters and public bathrooms RIGHT NOW! The bride isn't just getting cold feet—she's getting carpal tunnel from optimizing her park layout while wearing a $3000 wedding dress. Talk about priorities, sweetie! That RGB keyboard isn't going to click itself, and those virtual park guests aren't going to entertain themselves! The vows can wait until she's achieved a five-star rating, thank you very much!

Ah, the beautiful marriage of corporate gaslighting and consumer desperation. Jensen Huang's infamous quote about buying more GPUs to "save money" sits right above a retailer thanking customers for making GPU launches "memorable" (read: chaotic scalper-fests with mile-long queues). The cherry on top? Lisa Su from AMD genuinely thanking people for standing in those dystopian lines like it's some kind of heartwarming community event rather than the hunger games of hardware acquisition. Nothing says "we value you" quite like celebrating your customers' suffering while they fight to give you money for artificially scarce products. The tech industry's version of "The beatings will continue until morale improves."

Congrats on escaping the corporate prison! Now you're in a self-imposed solitary confinement with no weekends, no benefits, and a boss who never stops pushing deadlines (it's you). That dream of making the next Stardew Valley quickly transforms into debugging collision detection at 3AM while your Steam backlog grows and your social life withers. The irony of trading 40 hours of structured misery for 168 hours of chaotic passion is just *chef's kiss*. But hey, at least your commute is shorter and pants are optional.

Ah, the classic "scheduling your game release on the same day as Hollow Knight: Silksong" strategy. Bold move, Riddlebit Software, bold move. Nothing says "I believe in my product" quite like launching it directly into the shadow of one of the most anticipated indie games of all time. It's like scheduling your wedding on the same day as the Super Bowl and wondering why attendance is a bit sparse. I'm sure JETRUNNER will be fine though—just like how the Titanic was "fine" until it met that iceberg. September 4, 2025: The day thousands of indie devs collectively whispered, "Oh no."

The eternal law of debugging: spend 80 hours hunting down an elusive bug, only for some random player to stumble upon it within seconds of launching your game. It's like the milk boiling over principle—the moment you step away from watching it, chaos erupts. Your code behaves perfectly during 147 test runs until the exact moment someone important is watching. The universe runs on spite and compiler tears.