If Programmers Wrote Childrens Books

Content Me The critical bug Other critical bugs The product

The ETERNAL TORMENT of a programmer's brain! 🧠💀 Left panel: "I desperately NEED a break or my code will literally turn into hieroglyphics!" Right panel: "How DARE I enjoy this beach when my unfinished code is SCREAMING at me from the void?!" It's the mental paradox that turns us all into anxious little T-Rexes with stubby arms too short to reach either productivity OR relaxation. The guilt-procrastination cycle is our natural habitat now. EVOLUTION HAS FAILED US.

The classic developer time warp! You spend your entire day helping teammates debug their issues, answering questions, and reviewing their code. "Just a quick look," they said. Four hours later, you've fixed everyone's problems except your own. Then suddenly you look up and... wait, it's dark outside?! Where did the day go? That bug ticket you were supposed to fix is still sitting there, untouched since morning standup. And now you have two options: go home defeated or stay late and become the office cryptid that maintenance keeps finding coffee mugs from.

Content Coding chair Debugging chair

Content ASKING AIRCRAFT DESIGNERS ABOUT AIRPLANE SAFETY: NOTHING IS EVER FOOLPROOF, BUT MODERN AIRLINERS ARE INCREDIBLY RESILIENT. FLYING IS THE SAFEST WAY 10 TRAVEL. ASKING BUILDING ENGINEERS ABOUT ELEVATOR SAFETY: ELEVATORS ARE PROTECTED BY MULTIPLE TRIED-AND-TESTED FAILSAFE MECHANISMS. THEY'RE NEARLY INCAPABLE OF FALLING. ASKING SOFTWARE ENGINEERS ABOUT COMPUTERIZED VOTING: THAT'S TERRIFYING. WAIT, REALLY? DON'T TRUST VOTING SOFTWARE AND DON'T LISTEN TO ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU IT'S SAFE. WHY? I DON'T QUITE KNOW HOW TO PUT THIS, BUT OUR ENTIRE FIELD IS BAD AT WHAT WE DO, AND IF YOU RELY ON US, EVERYONE WILL DIE. THEY SAY THEY'VE FIXED IT WITH SOMETHING CALLED "BLOCKCHAIN." AAAAA!!! WHATEVER THEY SOLD YOU, DON'T TOUCH IT. BURY IT IN THE DESERT. WEAR GLOVES. Prodrammer-umor.io

Content I explained why it's giving that error. I also posted three different ways to fix it, each one with it's pros and cons. And finally ladded a URL for those who need more information. I just posted a code that works, without any explanation