Developers Be Like

Content P Peyton TO: Wednesday Hi l've been using quite a bit recently and have been enjoying it a lot! Only issue is it is very buggy and doesn't work half the time. Will this be fixed in the future? Sent from Mail for Windows ProdrammerHumor.io

The five stages of grief have nothing on the six stages of debugging. First comes denial—"That can't happen"—because your code is obviously flawless. Then bargaining with reality—"That doesn't happen on my machine"—the programmer's equivalent of "it's not me, it's you." As the evidence mounts, you reach anger mixed with confusion—"That shouldn't happen"—followed by the existential crisis of "Why does that happen" where you question your career choices. Finally, enlightenment strikes with "Ohh, I see"—that beautiful moment when the bug reveals itself. But the journey ends with the soul-crushing realization: "How did that ever work?" Because somehow your broken code has been running in production for months.

Content Breakpoint 77 in the Stack Trace ?? how queer!! ive never seen such a thing- i must pause this Main Thread post-hastell print("If you see this, the code is wrong")

Content 252 indentation, paragraph, see paragraph index, 30, 74-76, 150-154, 211-212 index, 74, 212 curly brace in argument, 75 idx file entry written by, 208 in command argument, 153 space around, 169 special character in argument, 75 too many on page, 143 indexentry, 75, 212 on idx file, 208 indexspace, 75 indicator, error, 29, 134 inf (inf), 44 subscript of, 190 infinite loop, 252 infinitely stretchable length, 100, 102, 215 information, moving, 65-77, 207-209 infty (0), 43 ink, rectangular blob of, 106

Content What we say What we mean Horrible hack Horrible hack that I didn't write Temporary workaround Horrible hack that I wrote It's broken There are bugs in your code It has a few issues There are bugs in my code Obscure Someone else's code doesn't have comments Self-documenting My code doesn't have comments That's why it's an awesome language It's my favorite language and it's really easy to do something in it. You're thinking in the wrong mindset It's my favorite language and it's really hard to do something in it. I can read this Perl script I wrote this Perl script I can't read this Perl script I didn't write this Perl script Bad structure Someone else's code is badly organized Complex structure My code is badly organized Bug The absence of a feature I like Out of scope The absence of a feature I don't like Clean solution It works and I understand it We need to rewrite it It works but I don't understand it emacs is better than vi it's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war vi is better than emacs It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war IMHO You are wrong Legacy code It works, but no one knows how XCquitVESCESCC I don't know how to quit vi

Content SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT PROCESS 0. I can't fix this 1. Crisis of confidence 2. Questions career 3. Questions life 4. Oh it was a typo, cool