Been There

The formal frog is making a catastrophic announcement with aristocratic flair! Deleting archived data from January 2024 in what appears to be... March 2024? Classic case of the "I'll clean up these temporary files" syndrome that haunts codebases everywhere. The true horror isn't just losing data—it's realizing you've deleted recent backups while ancient, useless logs from 2017 remain untouched. That moment when your stomach drops and you frantically check if there's a backup of the backup. Spoiler alert: there never is.

Content MuSQL SELECT.....3 SUBQUERY....2 JOII veLeTE...5 ALTER.... .......8 ORD UPDATE.....7 INSERT...4 DROP...........9 GRO CREATE ...10 HAV: EXCUSE ME, GRANDPA. ARE YOU WAITING FOR YOUR ORDER? INSERT... .... 4 (CREATE...... NO, HE IS WAITING! I'M NEXT AFTER HIM. 10 MINUTES BEFORE f MysQ ONE SELECT FROM VERY BIG TABLE, ADD 8 JOINS, 5 SUBQUERIES AND ONE GROUP BY. NO INDEXES, PLEASE! I'M ALLERGIC TO THEM. SELECT.....3 DELETE SUBQUERy.....2 J .. 5 ALTER... ..8 UPDATE37 DROP... INSERT....4 ........9 OF GI CREATE... ...10 ProgrammerHumor.

Checking if your "universally unique identifier" is actually unique by comparing it to a database of other UUIDs is like asking if your fingerprints are unique by pressing them against everyone else's fingers. The whole point of UUIDs is that they're generated to be mathematically unique without needing to check a central registry. With 2^128 possible combinations, you have better odds of winning the lottery while being struck by lightning... twice... on Mars.

Content When your code stopped working during an interview Dude you are embarrassing me in front of the wizards.

Content Giulio Carrara 3rd Software Engineer 1d Dear recruiters, if you are looking for: - Java, Python, PHP - React, Angular - PostgreSQL, Redis, MongoDB - AWS, S3, EC2, ECS, EKS - nix system administration - Git and Cl with TDD - Docker, Kubernetes That's not a Full Stack Developer. That's an entire IT department. Yours truly 8,801 391 comments

That moment when you accidentally run a query on production instead of staging. First panel: mild panic. Second panel: realizing you just leaked 2.5 billion users' data and your résumé is already outdated. The best part? That smile isn't happiness—it's the face of someone who knows their career just ended but the severance package will be spectacular. Nothing says "database engineer" like casually sipping coffee while committing digital arson.