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Content SITUATION: THERE ARE 14 CoMPETiNG STANDARDS. HOW STANDARDS PROLIFERATE: (SEE: AC CHARGERS, CHARACTER ENCODINGS, INSTANT MESSAGING, ETC) (4?! RIDICULOUS! SOON: WE NEED TO DEVELOP ONE UNIVERSAL STANDARD THAT COVERS EVERYONE'S USE CASES. YEAH! SITUATION: THERE ARE 15 COMPETING STANDARDS. ProgrammerHumor.

Content Me, waiting for effects after changing DNS records ProdrammerHumor.io

Content 1000 FRESHLY FORGED SWORDS! WHEW! FINALLY DONE! NOW THEY'LL HAVE TO START CALLING ME OLACK THE BLACKSMITH AND NOT HEY! AREN'T YOU OLACK THE GIT FORCE PUSHER? THAT WAS ONE TIME! SWORDSCOMIC.COM SWORDS COLXVII

Content There's a repo on Github containing some scripts used by a tech employee that his coworkers discovered after he left the company. Here's a summary of his shenanigans: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xXx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those Reply 4 10.3k J

Content Front-end Back-end Week-end

Content Mayank Joshi dermayank Dear recruiters, if you are looking for: - Java, Python, PHP - React, Angular - PostgreSQL, Redis, MongoDB - AWS, S3, EC2, ECS, EKS -nix system administration -Git and CI with TDD - Docker, Kubernetes That's not a Full Stack Developer That's an entire IT department 3:52 PM 29 Jun 21 Twitter for Mac 1,403 Retweets 117 Quote Tweets 5,532 Likes 17 ProdrammerHumor.io