Nothing Better Than C

The evolution of "Hello World" across programming languages is the perfect developer origin story: Python: print("Hello World") - Clean, simple, gets straight to the point. C++: printf("Hello World\n"); - Adds a semicolon because apparently periods weren't formal enough. Java: System.out.println("Hello World"); - Why use 5 characters when 21 will suffice? Corporate verbosity at its finest. JavaScript: npm install hello-world - Why write code when you can import someone else's? Modern problems require modern dependencies. And this, friends, is why your node_modules folder is larger than the known universe.

The programming community's favorite pastime: creating yet another language nobody asked for! Imagine taking JavaScript's type coercion, PHP's inconsistent naming conventions, C++'s memory management, Python's GIL, and Java's verbosity—then mashing them into one horrific Frankenstein's monster of a language. The compiler would generate 200 warnings just to print "Hello World" and the documentation would be written exclusively in regex. The only thing more terrifying than using this language would be explaining it during a job interview.

Python cruising along, feeling smug and waving at everyone... until C++ shows up with a tow truck. Sure, Python's easy to drive and looks flashy, but when performance matters, you're getting towed by compiled languages. That Ferrari isn't going anywhere fast with its interpreted engine. Speed limits exist for a reason, I guess.

When your kid wants Scratch (the beginner-friendly block programming language) but you're a C programmer with trust issues and a weird sense of humor. This madlad literally redefined curly braces and brackets with ASCII art, then implemented FizzBuzz with them. It's the programming equivalent of making a sandwich with a chainsaw because "it gets the job done." The worst part? It probably compiles. That's the real horror story here.

Ah, the classic programmer identity crisis. Someone asked for the most useful programming languages for 2025 and got Swift, C++, Go, and JavaScript mixed in with French, Japanese, Arabic, and German. Guess the algorithm can't tell the difference between talking to computers and talking to humans. Probably trained on Stack Overflow comments where both are equally incomprehensible. At least they didn't recommend COBOL - that would've been a real sign of AI hallucination.

Oh look, it's the increment operator hierarchy in its natural habitat. While you're over there manually adding 2 to your variable like some kind of cave person ( i=i+2 ), I'm elegantly pre-incrementing and post-incrementing in a single expression ( ++i++ ). Sure, it's undefined behavior that will make senior devs cry blood and crash in production, but hey—my code is three characters shorter! Nothing says "technical superiority" like writing code that requires a compiler exorcism.