Content The Proud Parent The Linker REPENT TOMER - Half your manager, half your senior - Designed the codebase - Will always answer your question, but only after a 5 minute on the motivations of a now rebuilt module from years ago - "I remember when we had to do that process in the AWS console with just a trackpad, uphill both ways" - Tough during code review, but genuinely happy to see you ship new features to the system The Job Security Maximizer - Always sends you a link when you ask a question, sometimes without any other words - "Look at this" - Thinks you don't know standard documentation exists - Posts medium articles in the main channel, doesn't read them - Never reviews code - First stack overflow result The Big Chiller - "Ohh, that? Sorry I totally forgot all - Been around for years, knows the entire about the code I wrote a month ago" codebase - Tells you to ask someone else for the - Friends with the CTO simplest question - Shows you the exact line of code that - Has dozens of pages of private notes, causes your bug within 5 minutes READMEs all read "initial commit" - They last shipped a commit a couple - "Have you thought about adding an months ago, you think abstracter to this abstraction? With that - Always approves your PRs we can decouple the coupler from the universe" 10 i0