We Have Achieved AGI

Oh. My. GOD. The AUDACITY of this job posting! 💀 They want the "top 0.01%" with IQs over 140 who work 80+ hours weekly and can "replace teams of 20 with their own mind" — but will generously give you $10k even if you don't join! How MAGNANIMOUS! 🙄 The absolute DELUSION of saying "AI writes better code than most devs" while hunting for superhuman coding unicorns who apparently don't need sleep, friends, or basic human enjoyment! Honey, if your AI is so amazing, why not just hire IT instead of demanding people who can "think 10 steps ahead and ship in hours"? Translation: "We're looking for desperate geniuses willing to sacrifice their entire existence for our startup that will DEFINITELY change the world economy... trust us!"

Corporate tech in a nutshell. Some executive burns through millions on AI "innovations" that are basically expensive tech demos destined for the graveyard. Meanwhile, the kid who'll inherit this mess someday is already recognizing the corporate cycle of wasted resources. The real kicker? Those hundreds of proof-of-concepts probably could've been one solid product if someone had just said "no" to the next shiny AI buzzword. But that wouldn't look good on the quarterly innovation report, would it?

Ah, the classic corporate brainstorming session where everyone's looking for shortcuts except the one person suggesting the obvious solution. Low-code, AI, buzzwords galore—but nobody wants to hear "just hire someone who knows what they're doing." That dev getting thrown out the window represents every competent engineer watching their company chase shiny tech instead of proper staffing. The real punchline? Six months later they'll hire three devs anyway, but only after burning through the budget on half-baked AI solutions that generated more bugs than features.

Ah, the dream job has finally arrived. Not only do you get to work for free as a "Prompt Engineer," but you also pay $500 weekly for the privilege of... doing unpaid work. It's basically an expensive subscription to pretend you have a job. Next up: paying for air to breathe in the office. The recruiter probably thinks they're being generous by not charging for bathroom breaks.

Behold the classic AI career trajectory: from explaining neural networks to explaining why you dropped out of your PhD. Nothing says "I've mastered gradient descent" quite like watching your academic aspirations descend into the local minimum of content creation. The real algorithm here is simple: views = (technical knowledge) × (decolletage) / (academic integrity). Meanwhile, my GitHub contributions remain at zero while my student loans continue compounding interest faster than my code compiles.

The corporate circle of life in its natural habitat! First, management gets excited about AI boosting productivity so they can slash the dev team. Then their faces drop when devs use the same logic against them. "Oh, we need fewer managers now that we have fewer devs? surprised Pikachu face " The beautiful irony of corporate efficiency cuts coming back to bite the very people who initiated them. Turns out the sword of optimization cuts both ways... who knew? 🙃