We Have Achieved AGI

Google Gemini just gave the most "random" string in the history of random strings. Nothing says "I'm definitely not using a pattern" like literally using the alphabet followed by sequential numbers. That's like asking for a random password and getting "password123". Next they'll tell us their favorite dice roll is always 3.5.

The handshake of deception! Both AI artists and "vibe coders" have found their career shortcut—let the machines do the heavy lifting while you collect the praise. For the uninitiated, "vibe coders" are those developers who spend more time curating their aesthetic GitHub profiles and tweaking VS Code themes than writing actual code. They're the ones who post snippets they didn't write and drop terms like "neural architecture" in casual conversation despite just copy-pasting from ChatGPT. The modern tech equivalent of putting your name on the group project after contributing absolutely nothing. But hey, fake it till you make it, right? Just don't ask them to whiteboard anything without internet access.

Ah yes, the modern debugging workflow: write broken code, catch the error, and let AI fix it for you. Because nothing says "senior developer" like outsourcing your bug fixes to ChatGPT. Next week: teaching AI to attend your standup meetings while you "work from hammock."

Ah, the sweet innocence of AI coding assistants. You ask them to fix one simple bug, and they happily fly away while your codebase explodes in the background. Twenty years in this industry and I've learned one truth: the only thing more dangerous than a junior dev with admin access is an AI confidently "helping" your code. The smug little face says it all - "My work here is done!" Meanwhile, you're left explaining to the product manager why the login button now launches nuclear missiles. Classic case of the cure being worse than the disease.

Someone asked ChatGPT about JavaScript's export default App; syntax and got the most refreshingly honest AI response ever: "I honestly have no idea." Finally, an AI that admits defeat instead of confidently hallucinating some nonsensical explanation about React components! If only my junior devs had this level of self-awareness instead of copy-pasting Stack Overflow answers they don't understand. The robots might replace us, but at least they'll be upfront about their limitations.

Ah, the classic "stay in your lane" principle taken to its logical conclusion! When someone who knows nothing about cars or rockets starts pontificating about software, it's like watching a toddler try to explain quantum physics. Every developer has that moment of clarity when a non-technical person with a god complex starts explaining how "AI just needs more if-else statements" or how "coding is just typing." The beautiful irony is that software is the one field where we can actually verify someone's genius (or lack thereof) with a simple code review. Suddenly all those "genius" credentials start looking like a Stack Overflow copy-paste job with syntax errors.