Seniors Boasting About Their Pre-AI Coding Skills

When the job description says "R knowledge required, Python mostly used," but then you show up and discover it's 99% R with that one random pandas script someone wrote 3 years ago. The classic bait-and-switch where data scientists get lured by the promise of Python only to find themselves knee-deep in R's cryptic syntax and bizarre indexing. Meanwhile, Python sits there looking all smug because everyone claims to love it, but nobody actually lets you use it for the cool projects.

Look at this peak coding efficiency! Why bother with basic arithmetic when you can just outsource addition to ChatGPT? Sure, a simple a + b would work, but where's the fun in that? This is what happens when you've got a $20/month ChatGPT subscription and absolutely need to justify it by using it for literally everything—including adding 5 and 3. The irony of burning through tokens and API calls to calculate what a 5-year-old could do on their fingers is just *chef's kiss*. Next up: using DALL-E to generate images of numbers because Math.random() is too mainstream.

Autocomplete tools looking at your code like pawn shop owners evaluating your junk. "Best we can do is predict next token" is the programming equivalent of "I'll give you $5 for that family heirloom." Sure, GitHub Copilot might suggest something brilliant, but usually it's just confidently predicting you want another semicolon or closing bracket. The AI revolution in coding is basically just sophisticated guesswork with better marketing.

JetBrains turning down the boring responsible work of fixing bugs and adding features in favor of shoving AI into everything is peak 2023 software development. The industry's collective hallucination that AI will magically solve problems we can't even articulate properly is hilarious. Meanwhile, users just want their damn IDE to stop crashing during compile time. But hey, now it can auto-complete with the confidence of a junior dev who skimmed Stack Overflow for 5 minutes!

When your AI co-pilot decides to inject inappropriate jokes into your production code! The meme shows Elixir/Phoenix code with a logger statement containing "Dose nuts fit in your mouth?" - that classic middle-school joke now immortalized in your codebase. Imagine deploying this to production and then having to explain to your manager why your app is making "deez nuts" jokes in the logs. That PR review is going to be... interesting. 💀

The true superpower of developers isn't writing code—it's surviving vendor hell. While everyone's panicking about AI taking our jobs, they're forgetting the eternal constant of tech: third-party vendors with documentation that's either fantasy fiction or written by someone who never used their own product. Those five desperate emails you sent last week? Still unread. That support ticket from last month? "Under investigation." Meanwhile your PM is wondering why that "simple integration" is taking so long. Good luck replacing us with AI when even humans can't figure out what the hell your API is supposed to do.