How Many Rs In Strawberry Again?

The modern developer workflow in six easy steps! First, open your editor with good intentions. Then, immediately surrender to AI because who has time to think anymore? Watch in mild disappointment as the AI spits out code that looks suspiciously functional. Minutes later, your terminal explodes with errors that weren't in the job description. No problem—just ask the AI to fix what it broke! And finally, witness the miracle of technology as your codebase transforms from "barely working" to "completely demolished." The circle of life for the contemporary programmer who's just trying to vibe while their project burns to the ground.

Want to see a data scientist have an aneurysm? Just swap all their import aliases like some chaotic evil code terrorist. TensorFlow as plt? Pandas as tf? Numpy as pd? Matplotlib as np? This is basically the programming equivalent of putting the milk in before the cereal. The person who wrote this code definitely wakes up and chooses violence every morning. No wonder it's titled about a goldfish with WiFi—the memory retention matches the import choices perfectly.

Behold, the PINNACLE of developer security theater! 🎭 Worried about AI stealing your precious algorithms? Set up a private git server! But then use it to commit your API keys in plain text because APPARENTLY reading documentation about environment variables is TOO MUCH WORK. It's like installing a state-of-the-art security system for your house and then leaving the key under the doormat with a neon sign pointing to it. GENIUS LEVEL SECURITY!

Look at this absolute masterpiece of error handling. When things go wrong, just ask OpenAI to fix it and eval() whatever it returns. Because nothing says "I trust the process" like blindly executing code from an AI in production. The cherry on top? Generating random passwords for users who probably wanted to use their own. Security through confusion - it's the new standard.

So you used to write beautiful comments explaining every function, every variable, every decision? Yeah, those were simpler times. Then ChatGPT dropped and suddenly your entire codebase became AI-generated spaghetti that you barely understand yourself. Now your "well-commented code" is just cryptic AI outputs with maybe a desperate "TODO: figure out what this does" thrown in. The innocence is gone. The trust is shattered. You're just a prompt engineer now, copy-pasting mysterious code blocks and praying they work. Welcome to the post-2022 developer experience where comments are a luxury from a bygone era and Stack Overflow feels like ancient history.

Everyone's terrified of superintelligent AI destroying humanity, meanwhile actual AI is just slapping "-uary" onto every month like a sleep-deprived intern. "Maruary" and "Apruary" sound like months from a parallel universe where calendars were designed by a five-year-old. The real existential threat isn't Skynet—it's spreadsheets with months that sound like they were named after drinking too much eggnog. If this is the AI revolution, we can probably hold off on building those bunkers.