Chat GPT Writing Code Comments Like

The fearless warrior of code until Git throws that dreaded merge conflict error. Suddenly the bravest developer becomes a helpless child begging an AI to fix their mess. We've all been there—confidently pushing changes at 4:59 PM on Friday, only to have Git remind us we're not as clever as we thought. Nothing humbles you faster than seeing those <<<<<<< HEAD markers turn your beautiful code into abstract art.

Ah, the classic LinkedIn resume time-travel paradox! This CS grad with a 4.3 GPA from Columbia somehow managed to intern at NASA, OpenAI, and Google before graduating, then immediately pivoted to their dream career... flipping burgers at McDonald's in May 2025 (which hasn't even happened yet). The chronological whiplash is giving me serious temporal complexity issues. It's like they implemented a reverse-sorted linked list of career achievements where Big O notation stands for "Order of fries, please." This resume perfectly captures that special moment when your algorithm for career progression throws an unexpected exception.

Ah yes, the anatomically accurate ChatGPT brain - a couple of smooth pink blobs with absolutely zero wrinkles. Just hover over those non-existent brain areas for more non-existent information. Turns out all those billions of parameters are stored in what appears to be a 3D render someone made during their first Blender tutorial. Neural networks? More like neural balloons.

Ah, nothing says "top-notch security" like giving a 25-year-old access to government databases AND AI systems, then watching them accidentally paste an API key on GitHub. Because what could possibly go wrong when someone has access to both Social Security data and cutting-edge LLMs? This is peak "move fast and break things" energy, except the "things" are national security and AI safeguards. The sarcastic "should fill all Americans with a deep sense of confidence" is chef's kiss material. Future historians will call this the "control-C, control-V apocalypse."

The so-called "advanced AI" for processing insurance claims? Just a Python script that flips a coin! The code imports the random module and uses random.choice() to pick between "deny" and "approve" with equal probability. Next time your claim gets rejected, remember it wasn't because of your pre-existing condition—it was because RNGesus wasn't in your favor today. Sophisticated machine learning my foot! It's literally the computational equivalent of "eeny, meeny, miny, moe" but with fewer steps.

When your non-tech friend asks what you're doing and you say "I'm coding," but really you're just asking ChatGPT to build the next billion-dollar startup for you. Let's be honest—we've all typed "make me an app like [insert successful company]" at least once when nobody was looking. The modern equivalent of copying homework, except now we call it "leveraging AI tools for rapid prototyping." Who needs years of software engineering when you can just sweet-talk an AI into doing it for you?