If Only It Were That Simple

OH MY GOD! The absolute TRAGEDY of the Linux enthusiast's social life! 😭 Dad is BEGGING his precious offspring to experience human contact while Junior is over there having a full-blown LOVE AFFAIR with his tiling window manager! THE HORROR! For the uninitiated: tiling window managers (like i3, dwm, or Arch) are the ULTIMATE Linux nerd obsession - they let you arrange windows perfectly with keyboard shortcuts instead of *gasp* using a mouse like a PEASANT. And that ThinkPad? The holy grail laptop for Linux purists! Meanwhile, Dad's just wondering if his genetic legacy will ever leave the basement. Spoiler alert: NOT HAPPENING while there are config files to tweak!

Content 10 WAYS TO TROLL YOUR DEVELOPER 1: CHANGE ALL CONSOLE SETTINGS TO BLACK ON BLACK. STRANGE... NO DEBUG PRINTOUTS 2: HAVE THEM FIX OLD CODE. 3: REQUIRE IT TO WORK ON ALL PLATFORMS. IT WILL HAVE TORUN ON IOS, ANDROID, WINDOWS PHONE AND THIS ROTARY FROM 1931. 4: HIRE UNQUALIFIED DEVELOPERS. CHAD WILLBE DOING UI. 5: DISREGARD ANY NEED FOR TESTING. A TESTING PHASE ISN'T REALLY IN THE BUDGET IT'S JUST GONNA HAVE TO WORK 6: REQUIRE IT TO WORK FOR ALL USER GROUPS. MR. NIBBLES SAID ITS VERY UNINTUITIVE. MEOW. 7: POP YOUR HEAD IN EVERY FIVE MINUTES TOROND OVER YOUR STUPID COWORKERS SHARON USES A QUESTION MARK WHEN SHE GOOGLES A QUESTIONI 8: BLOCK ALL ACCESS TO STACK OVERFLOW. NOW, NOW, NO CHEATING CELO 9: MAKE ALL TASKS TOP PRIORITY. THE DATABASE NEEDS TO BEUP AND RUNNING ASAP, AS WELL AS THE AUDIO ENGINE, CRITICAL AND ALSO 3D BUTTON SHADING. 10:ASK A DEV TO 'FIX YOUR COMPUTER' MR. NIBBLES WAS WATCHING GOOD WIFE AND SUDDENLY THIS BLUE THINGY CAME War and Peas

Who needs SCP, rsync, or network shares when you can just physically relocate your mouse? The beauty of this solution is its elegant simplicity - no need to worry about permissions, firewall rules, or connection timeouts. Just unplug and go. It's the networking equivalent of solving traffic by removing all the roads. Works 60% of the time, every time.

Content How to fix any computer The Oatmeal Windows Step I. Reboot Apple Step I. Take it to an Apple store. v Did that fix it, No? Proceed to step a Did that fix it; No? Proceed to step a Step a. Format hard drive Reinstall Windows Lose all your files. Quietly weep. Step a. Buy a new Mac. Overdraw your account. Quietly weep. Linux Step I. Learn to code in C. Recompile the kernel. Build your own microprocessor out of spare silicon you had lying around. Recompile the kernel again. Switch distros Recompile the kernel again but this time using a CPU powered by refracted light from Saturn. Grow a giont beard. Blame Sun Microsusters. Turn your bedroom into a server closet and spend ten years falling asleep to the sound of whirring fans. Switch distros again. Abandon all hugene. Write a regular expression that would make other precrammers cry blood. Learn to code in Java Recompile the kernel again Cut thic time while wearing your lucky socks) Did that fix its Nor Proceed to step an Step a. Revert back to using Windows or a Mac. Quietlu weep.

Content Gautam imComputerGeek Linux user:- Windows 10 is for idiots, smart people use linux distros. Linus trovalds is great. Also Linux user:- My wift and graphic driver issue ate my entire week. more than 700mb ram usage. Hmm...something is wrong, lets compile entire kernel and install it "again"

That heroic moment when IT finally arrives after you've sent 17 increasingly desperate tickets. They stride in like Zapp Brannigan from Futurama, full of unearned confidence and zero urgency. "I got your distress call and came as quickly as I wanted to" perfectly captures that special blend of savior complex and complete indifference that defines corporate IT support. Meanwhile, you've been frantically googling solutions for three hours and have already tried turning it off and on again... twice.