Google Takes Sides In The Text Editor Holy Wars

Behold the great decline of our noble profession. We went from muscle-bound legends who wrote code without AI crutches and built entire games in Assembly (because apparently pain is character-building) to modern keyboard jockeys who can't center a div without consulting Google for the 47th time today. The golden age programmer fixed memory leaks by hand, while we're over here begging ChatGPT to fix our syntax errors like it's our personal code therapist. And let's not forget the programmer trapped in Vim since 2018 because :q! is apparently harder to remember than differential calculus. The final insult? We fix one bug and create three more. It's not a development cycle, it's a pyramid scheme.

The eternal tech podcast dichotomy: hardcore engineer who lives in Vim vs. the polished host who hasn't touched code since jQuery was cool. Left side: Actually writes software that powers what you're watching on. Right side: Talks about software while secretly wondering if anyone will notice they forgot what a for-loop does. My favorite part? "Ran Doom on SMS Chipotle receipt" vs "1 peer-reviewed paper (removed by MIT)" is basically the two career paths available to CS graduates. The real punchline is we all know which one makes more money talking about programming than actually programming...

The GREAT EDITOR WAR rages on with Vim and Emacs users acting like they're in some kind of text editor street gang, flashing their keyboard shortcuts like gang signs! Meanwhile, the DOS_USER at the bottom is just standing there, absolutely BAFFLED that people would wage holy war over text editors when they're still typing commands like "edit.com" in a command prompt from the STONE AGE! 💀 It's like watching two people argue about the best way to climb Mount Everest while you're still figuring out how stairs work. THE DRAMA! THE TRAGEDY! The sheer AUDACITY of still using DOS in 2023!

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute COLLAPSE of programmer confidence is just TRAGIC! 💀 Left side: Matrix-inspired badass ready to bend reality, rewrite entire codebases, and basically be a coding GOD. Right side: Pathetic little creature TRAPPED in Vim, the text editor equivalent of Hotel California - you can check in but YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE! (It's :q! by the way, you poor soul.) We went from "I'll rewrite the entire Matrix" to "help me escape this terminal window" faster than you can say "legacy codebase." The AUDACITY of our past selves! The HUMILIATION of our present reality!

Sweet mother of backslashes! The absolute AUDACITY of this developer thinking Vim regex and Perl regex are interchangeable! Honey, that's like showing up to a knife fight with a spoon! 💀 The final panel is the regex equivalent of a horror movie jumpscare - that unholy abomination of backslashes would make any text file burst into flames! And a 700MB text file?! Who hurt you?!

This is Obsidian's way of saying "Are you really sure you want to enter the Hotel California of text editors?" The Vim confirmation dialog is basically the digital equivalent of those warning signs before roller coasters that say "People with heart conditions should not ride." Obsidian knows once you enter Vim mode, there's a 90% chance you'll be frantically Googling "how to exit vim" in about 30 seconds. That red warning text might as well say "Abandon hope all ye who enter here" because nothing says user-friendly like an editor where the most searched command is how to quit the damn thing. It's the text editor equivalent of a relationship status: "It's complicated."