Google Takes Sides In The Text Editor Holy Wars

The evolution of developers has taken a tragic turn! Back in the glory days, programmers were depicted as muscular chads who wrote code without AI assistance or Stack Overflow, built entire games in Assembly language (absolute madlads), crafted mission-critical code for Moon landings, and fixed memory leaks by manually tweaking pointers. Fast forward to today, and we've devolved into bizarre creatures who can't center a div without Googling it for the 500th time, beg ChatGPT to fix basic syntax errors, get trapped in Vim like it's some kind of developer prison (":q! anyone?"), and somehow manage to create three new bugs while fixing just one. The brutal reality check hits hard. We went from programming gods to dependency-addicted gremlins who can't function without our precious tools. Progress?

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute COLLAPSE of programmer confidence is just TRAGIC! 💀 Left side: Matrix-inspired badass ready to bend reality, rewrite entire codebases, and basically be a coding GOD. Right side: Pathetic little creature TRAPPED in Vim, the text editor equivalent of Hotel California - you can check in but YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE! (It's :q! by the way, you poor soul.) We went from "I'll rewrite the entire Matrix" to "help me escape this terminal window" faster than you can say "legacy codebase." The AUDACITY of our past selves! The HUMILIATION of our present reality!

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute DEVOLUTION of programmers is too real! 😭 On the left, we have the CHAD programmer of yesteryear - building an ENTIRE OPERATING SYSTEM FROM SCRATCH, talking directly to God, and casually mentioning CIA conspiracies while coding in 640x480 resolution like some kind of digital BARBARIAN! And what do we have now? A pathetic little doge in a coffee sweater, TRAPPED in Vim, desperately clinging to Stack Overflow and Spotify for emotional support! Can't even exit a text editor without begging for help! The audacity! The TRAGEDY! For the uninitiated: TempleOS was an operating system coded entirely by one man (Terry Davis) who claimed divine inspiration. Meanwhile, Vim is that text editor where generations of programmers have been held hostage because nobody remembers how to exit it (it's :q! by the way, YOU'RE WELCOME).

Ah yes, the classic "just use confidence" advice that falls apart when facing Vim. The top panel shows VS Code, React, and Node.js giving that smooth reassurance like they're the cool kids at school. Meanwhile, the bottom panel reveals the horrifying reality of a developer trying to exit Vim for the first time. No amount of confidence prepares you for that moment when you realize :q! might as well be ancient hieroglyphics. The "Are you sure?" is just Vim's way of saying "You sweet summer child, you have no power here."

Behold the great decline of our noble profession. We went from muscle-bound legends who wrote code without AI crutches and built entire games in Assembly (because apparently pain is character-building) to modern keyboard jockeys who can't center a div without consulting Google for the 47th time today. The golden age programmer fixed memory leaks by hand, while we're over here begging ChatGPT to fix our syntax errors like it's our personal code therapist. And let's not forget the programmer trapped in Vim since 2018 because :q! is apparently harder to remember than differential calculus. The final insult? We fix one bug and create three more. It's not a development cycle, it's a pyramid scheme.

The GREAT EDITOR WAR rages on with Vim and Emacs users acting like they're in some kind of text editor street gang, flashing their keyboard shortcuts like gang signs! Meanwhile, the DOS_USER at the bottom is just standing there, absolutely BAFFLED that people would wage holy war over text editors when they're still typing commands like "edit.com" in a command prompt from the STONE AGE! 💀 It's like watching two people argue about the best way to climb Mount Everest while you're still figuring out how stairs work. THE DRAMA! THE TRAGEDY! The sheer AUDACITY of still using DOS in 2023!