We Do Not Test On Animals We Test In Production

The classic Friday evening developer nightmare: You're shutting your laptop at 16:55, ready to start the weekend, when suddenly your colleague decides it's the perfect time to test your latest commit. And what do they find? Bugs. Bugs everywhere. Like a soldier screaming in the heat of battle, they're frantically alerting everyone while you silently contemplate whether to pretend your Slack notifications stopped working or just accept that your weekend plans now include emergency hotfixes from your couch.

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Opening that dusty repo from 3 years ago and finding your brain sitting next to a gas can. Perfect metaphor for the cognitive dissonance of reading your old code and thinking "Who wrote this garbage? Oh wait, it was me." The only options are to burn it all down or somehow reattach your brain and figure out what past-you was thinking when you decided that 47 nested if-statements was an elegant solution.

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