Nobody Has It As Hard As Us

The self-dramatization of software engineers knows no bounds. There you are, lounging in a $1,500 ergonomic throne, sipping artisanal coffee in your climate-controlled apartment, while dramatically whispering war metaphors about writing a handful of assert statements. The true battlefield of our generation: deciding whether to use assertEquals() or assertTrue() while your Herman Miller gently cradles your suffering body. The struggle is clearly comparable to actual trenches. Truly, no one has ever faced such hardship as debugging code with fast internet and snacks within arm's reach.