Nobody Has It As Hard As Us

When you need to reverse a number's sign but decide to take the scenic route through Absurdistan... This function is the programming equivalent of using a nuclear submarine to cross a puddle. The code checks if d is negative, then uses Abs() to make it positive (reasonable). But if it's positive? It subtracts d*2 from itself—a galaxy-brain approach to multiplication by -1. What makes this truly horrifying is that this overcomplicated monstrosity was part of the UK Post Office's Horizon system that led to the wrongful prosecution of hundreds of postal workers. Real people went to jail because someone couldn't write d = -d . The tragic irony? The comment literally shows the correct solution right above the function. It's like putting "just use stairs" in the elevator manual, then designing a catapult instead.

Ah, the eternal Tom and Jerry chase, but make it programming . You spend five hours armed with breakpoints and console logs, absolutely convinced you're about to smash that elusive bug with your debugging frying pan. Meanwhile, the bug is just chilling there, practically taunting you from a line of code you've skimmed over 37 times. The best part? When you finally catch it, it'll be something ridiculous like a semicolon in JavaScript or an indentation error in Python. And just like Jerry, that bug will somehow make you feel like the fool despite being the one who caused all the chaos.

Content Junior developer I do not know who l am.. I don't know why I'm here All I know is that I must crash the production server

Oh, the TRAGEDY of code amnesia! 😩 You write this MASTERPIECE of logic at 3 AM, fueled by nothing but energy drinks and sheer determination. Your brain and the divine forces of the universe are the ONLY witnesses to your genius. Fast forward two weeks later, and you're staring at your own creation like it's written in hieroglyphics from another dimension! Even the CAT knows you're doomed! That moment when your past self has BETRAYED your future self by not leaving a SINGLE comment. Now you're stuck in documentation purgatory, and your only hope is a séance to contact your former, more enlightened self!

Content Terror Cell Asset Has a Pho Actively targets CS maiors. CCP Cybersecurity Engineer Linux Kernel Engineer Left Unemployed Graduate Applied to 200 jobs Minecraft Modder williterallv only orogram for Open-Source Developer siated coding artersney watche the mainx has S10 in their Masters Student A rheir trends are ambloved Regrets pursuing higher educatior Independent Game Developer Has platformer The CS Professor can't centers div in Cs Authoritarian VR Chat Dev hasn't been onside since March 2020 Investment Firm Developer One of 3 devs in the whole company Made 65k Legacy Codebase Programmer Government 2aintains a Contractor Makes below-average salary Project ended 6 months aro gets paid Devops hasn't stepdfor tZ hou FANG Engineer Has solved every Leetcode program Makes sUOK year doesn't spend it On call 247 Can't ret another job because Asp.Net Dev Oniy knows Cs and SOL thinks every new language is a pas Laid Off Engineer Spent 10 years in the same job, du will not touch a c profile updat All-Women Startup Carbon Developer Language released 2 weeks ago. ture in Disrupting Will fervently defend Carbon on al Carbon van abandoned by Got AAA Game Dev JavaScript Dev Never went ro college. statted worked go hours this week Tries to interact with gamers on Knows in their dame Data Science Engineer Eastern European Developer Makes 15kyear willaccoocany Gitlab ticket Empornium Admin Expert in peer-to-peer data transfer Website hasn't chansed since OENAST Libertarian Lockheed Martin Rocket Telemetry Engineer The Fed runs chic oredator Ex-military, went to school on Gist benefits Engineer on HR-mandated Paid Leave e evidenco sexual harassment Will set fired in weeks NSA cybersecurity asset has access to state secrets Dy the government via remote car hack The Saudi Exchange Student Went roan Amenern universits Saudi Arabid The Job Hopper Will switch jobs every 12 months, gets a LUo raise Knoivs not to talk contributes bal Electrical Engineer John McAfee rook one programming class in colles Python Developer Defense Contractor Willnever use another languas Contributes to develoon 508009 5 0 ne will do it an Schizophrenic Developer Silk Road Admin Wanted by the FBI 3000 Shen

Content How should we call the election? Poll 19 Electoral college 0 Popular vote 81 Whichever candidate can invert a binary tree VIEW RESULTS 7:46 AM VI