Type Safety Prevents Emotional Damage

The perfect self-burn doesn't exi— Oh wait, here it is! Reddit suggesting r/Rust is "Similar to r/ProgrammerHumor" while someone declares "Goodbye, C++. Rust is the future." is peak irony. The title "Both Subs Are For Jokes" is the chef's kiss - implying that Rust evangelism and programming humor are basically the same thing. Nothing says "I'm a serious developer" like religiously announcing the death of established languages. Memory safety or memory insanity? The line blurs when the Rust cult assembles.

JavaScript gets all the love while C, Java, Rust, and others gang up on poor PHP. Then in the shadows, we find the true outcasts: another PHP developer and the mythical Monkey C programmer, sweating nervously because nobody even remembers they exist. The programming language hierarchy in one comic! JavaScript strutting around like it owns the web (it kinda does), while PHP gets bullied despite powering like 80% of the internet. And Monkey C? That's the language you put on your resume when you're hoping the interviewer is too embarrassed to admit they've never heard of it.

Rust developers will literally fight the borrow checker for 6 hours straight, rewrite their entire codebase three times to satisfy the compiler's existential demands, and still come back screaming "I'VE GOT A MOUTH FULL OF CRABS!" like they just won the lottery. The crab is Rust's mascot (Ferris), and yes, Rustaceans are *that* enthusiastic about their language. They'll tell you about memory safety without garbage collection, fearless concurrency, and zero-cost abstractions while foaming at the mouth. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to write a simple HTTP server without questioning our life choices. But hey, at least their code won't segfault at 2 AM in production... probably.

The ancient one sits upon the throne, watching over the mortals who dare not speak its name directly. Assembly language—the primordial tongue from which all programming languages descended. C and C++ stand as the closest disciples, worthy enough to be at the ruler's side. Meanwhile, the younger languages—JavaScript, Python, Rust, Go, Swift, Zig, C#, and Java—kneel in supplication, knowing they're just fancy abstractions built atop the eldritch knowledge they fear to touch. Nothing humbles a React developer faster than having to debug a memory allocation issue at the Assembly level. Suddenly all those npm packages don't seem so impressive anymore.

The first two panels show our protagonist happily accepting normal entry point functions in Rust and C/C++. "Yeah, that makes sense!" she cheerfully exclaims. Then panel three hits with Python's bizarre if __name__ == '__main__': pattern - the cursed incantation every Python dev has blindly copy-pasted a thousand times without questioning why we need this arcane check just to run a damn script. And that final panel? Pure existential horror. Seven years into my career and I still type this abomination with muscle memory while silently wondering who hurt the Python designers.

The eternal rivalry between C/C++ and Rust depicted in its purest form! Two programming languages locked in mortal combat, each convinced the other is the spawn of Satan. C++ devs clutching their manual memory management like it's a security blanket while Rust zealots wave their borrow checker flags from their moral high ground. The compiler wars continue as memory safety fundamentalists and performance purists scream into the void. Meanwhile, Python developers are just chilling with their garbage collector, eating popcorn and watching the bloodbath.