Rust

When the Rust logo itself is literally oxidized and corroded, you know someone's having a laugh at the language's expense. The joke plays on Rust being named after actual rust (iron oxide) while the fake news headline accuses it of causing "society to decay" – which is ironic because Rust was specifically designed to prevent memory corruption and system decay.

The "Western disease" framing is chef's kiss satire. Rust evangelists are notorious for their zealous advocacy, treating memory safety like a moral imperative. Some developers joke that Rustaceans act like they've discovered enlightenment while the rest of us peasants are still using garbage collectors and segfaulting like it's 1995.

The borrow checker might feel authoritarian when you're fighting it at 2 AM, but at least it won't let your code cause undefined behavior. Unlike certain governments, Rust's strict rules actually prevent things from falling apart.