Short Five Years

The dream of using multiple programming languages in one project quickly turned into a nightmare! These devs summoned the unholy "Omni Mascot" - a cursed amalgamation of language mascots (Python's snake, Rust's crab, and Java's coffee cup). Instead of peaceful polyglot programming, they created an abomination that required immediate destruction via baseball bat and ritual burning. This is basically what happens when you try to integrate Python's dynamic typing with Rust's borrow checker and Java's verbose OOP in the same codebase. The dependency conflicts alone would make anyone reach for a blunt object.

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Content FREEZE CS 4620 Intelligent Systems Changing random stuff until your program works is "hacky" and "bad coding practice." But if you do it fast enough it is "Machine Learning" and pays 4x your current salary.

When normal programmers tell you that concatenating strings with + is the way to go, Python devs just smugly hit you with that 'b' + 'r'*10 syntax. String multiplication? Absolute madness to some languages, Tuesday morning to Pythonistas. The cool kid with sunglasses knows what's up—why write ten r's when you can just multiply that bad boy? Meanwhile, the horrified traditionalist can't believe this syntactic sugar is legal. It's like watching someone put pineapple on pizza while coding.

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Content Keaton Patti KeatonPatti Follow I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Olive Garden commercials and then asked it to write an Olive Garden commercial of its own. Here is the first page. OLIVE GARDEN COMMERCIAL INT. OLIVE GARDEN RESTAURANT group of FRIENDS laughs at a dinner table. A WAITRESS comes deliver what could be considered food. WAITRESS Pasta nachos for you. We see the pasta nachos. They're warm and defeated. FRIEND 1 The menu is here. WAITRESS Lasagna wings with extra Italy. We see the lagagna wings. There's more Italy than necessary. FRIEND 2 I shall eat Italian citizens. WAITRESS Unlimited stick. We see the unlimited stick. It is infinite. It is all. FRIEND 3 Leave without me. I'm home. WAITRESS Gluten Classico. From the kitchen. We the Gluten Classico. We believe the waitress that it 18 from the kitchen. We have no reason not to believe. Friend 4 says nothing. FRIEND 1 What is wrong, Friend 4? Friend 4 says nothing. FRIEND Friend 4, what is wrong, Friend 4? Friend 4 smiles wide. Her mouth is full of secret soup. ANNOUNCER (wet voice) olive Garden. When You're Here, You're Here.