Well Well Well, Look Who's The Senior Dev Now

Content WELCOME TO SPRINT PLANNING WHERE THE RULES ARE MADE UPAND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

HONEY, THE PANIC IS REAL! Game developers put on the performance of their LIVES when someone asks about their game's progress! That forced smile? That's the face of someone whose code is held together by duct tape and prayers! The immediate deflection with "Great. Why, what have you heard?" is the digital equivalent of sweating through your formal wear while your game crashes if a player walks diagonally and jumps at the same time! Behind every cheerful "it's going great!" is a dev who hasn't slept in 72 hours because they're frantically trying to fix that one bug where all the NPCs suddenly decide to T-pose and float toward the ceiling! The truth would be too horrifying to share in polite company!

Looks like someone tried to order dinner but got served a SQL error instead. The database is having an existential crisis about whether hot chips and gravy actually exist. That's the universe telling you to cook at home tonight. The irony of an app designed to feed you that can't even feed itself the right data. Press OK to acknowledge your hunger will not be resolved programmatically.

Content I bet he's thinking about other women Why boolean store 1 byte instead of 1 bit?

Ah yes, the classic embroidery representation of web development! Frontend: a neat, organized pattern that looks presentable to visitors. Backend: the unholy tangle of threads that somehow makes everything work despite looking like a cat had a seizure while playing with yarn. The perfect metaphor for how we spend 80% of our time making sure the database doesn't implode while users complain that a button is 2 pixels off-center. The best part? Only other developers will ever see your backend spaghetti code, so as long as the frontend stays pretty, nobody needs to know you're secretly holding everything together with duct tape and Stack Overflow answers from 2013.

Content I PROMOTED TED TO SOFTWARE ARCHITECT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO CODE Dilbert.com ScottAdamsSay AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS A BAD IDEA. THEN I REMEMBERED THAT SOMETIMES MONKEYS ARE ASTRO- NAUTS 7-18-17 2017 Scott Adams, IncDist YOU KNOW THE MONKEYS DON'T FLY THE ROCKET, RIGHT? AND TED WON'T BE WRITING CODE.